I would like some feedback on a plot for a story im thinking of trying to make.
Someone wishes for immortality each day,the ability to live forever,after studying this for a long time. This person had made a parasite that can cause this with self regenerating cells. However the experiment ends with the patient's memory worsening as they forget who they are. In the end they end their own life after realizing the "Pains of immortality."

Question

I would like some feedback on a plot for a story im thinking of trying to make. 
Someone wishes for immortality each day,the ability to live forever,after studying this for a long time. This person had made a parasite that can cause this with self regenerating cells. However the experiment ends with the patient's memory worsening as they forget who they are. In the end they end their own life after realizing the "Pains of immortality."

FrogGirlEmmy · Answer

woah, i love it

FictionZystsem · Answer

Thank you, anything you would change?

FrogGirlEmmy · Answer

I think you should add some more details, mak eit liek a multi book story tyoe thing.