I need help with poetry!
Clouds move across the open land
The waves move closer to the sea
The sakura petals scatter across the earth
My dress waves in the wind as I look out in the setting sun.

As I hold clasp my hands
I feel a gentle blow
I hear a voice familiar as the sea
which makes me smile with desire

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Question

I need help with poetry! 
Clouds move across the open land
The waves move closer to the sea
The sakura petals scatter across the earth
My dress waves in the wind as I look out in the setting sun.

As I hold clasp my hands 
I feel a gentle blow
I hear a voice familiar as the sea
 which makes me smile with desire

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

IT SOUNDS REALLY GOOD!! I see the ideas in this poem, and you use a lot of imagery.

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

What exactly do you need help with?

ShadowOfDeath · Answer

This is an amazing poen.

Bvellla · Answer

I need help with the sentence ¨I hear a voice familiar as the sea¨
I need something different

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

@bvellla wrote:

I need help with the sentence ¨I hear a voice familiar as the sea¨ I need something different

Ah, what would you be looking for? I think the sentence is good personally, but the most important part of a poem is for it to pertain to the author!

Bvellla · Answer

Hmmm
I need something different  then sea.. I already used is once.
I just sound so.... Bland. now what is something familiar.....

ExclusiveKylaa · Answer

Clouds float across the plains.
The waves are getting closer to the shore.
The sakura petals fall to the ground.
As I gaze out the window at the setting sun, my dress flutters in the breeze.

I feel a mild blow as I grip my hands.
I hear a voice that reminds me of the sea and makes me long for it.

ExclusiveKylaa · Answer

But your poem sounds great