Question

A long time ago a boy named Dave lived in an old broken down house with boarded windows and a leaking roof that could fall anytime,the floors were covered with mold and the doors barely opened. The puke green walls had brown and yellow all over, this house really needed fixing and a lot of it, the plumbing was also bad. I’m Dave, this is my story of how I died. It all started with a photo I found in the attic. I came down from the attic to give it to my mom and dad to see if they knew the people in the photo, my mom “They’re probably the people that used to live here, there is nothing to worry about! ”After my mom said there’s nothing to worry about. I just put the photo in the box and taped the box shut after I taped the box I heard a noise from the kitchen so I went to go check it out but as soon as I opened the kitchen door the noise stopped so I started walking to my room and as I approached my room I thought I seen a figure go across the hallway, so I quickly ran to my room and hid in the closet and I noticed I dropped my phone so I slowly open the closet door and I walked to the door. I opened it to see my phone was not in the hall, I grabbed my flashlight and I walked slowly through the hallway to notice a shadow of a person slowly moving in my direction. I slowly walked towards the shadow, before I knew it was gone, so I went back to my room and got in my bed to see if I could go to sleep, surprisingly I fell fast asleep. The next day I got up to the smell of bacon cooking so I ran down stairs to see that my dad was cooking which surprised me because he never cooks. I sat down to eat when my mom came in and kissed my forehead, then she kissed my dad’s cheek then she sat down next to me and said "Did you sleep well,?” “I guess” I said,“What’s wrong sweety,?” she asked “Nothing is wrong mom, I promise”,I said. She smiled then said,“I love you” “ Mom, I love you too, ”I said then smiled, I got up and put the dishes in the sink then I got my bag, got in the car, my mom drove me to school and I got out of the car, I went inside put my bag in my locker, then I went to my class room. Sat down and looked at the teacher so I could see her teach. But after class everyone grabbed their things then went to the next class, throughout the class I either wrote down stuff or I colored things, all through I never learned anything. I just wanted to get out of there so I could go home and sleep. But school takes forever. this is just a bit of a story im writing

Answer 1

I like it. Very interesting.

Answer 2

thank you

Answer 3

Mhm ofc! I also love the details you put in the story.

Answer 4

thanks im not finish yet though

Answer 5

I bet it'll get even better.

Answer 6

I love it

Answer 7

I like the story it's very interesting! I'm also looking forward to hearing the next part too, great work!

Answer 8

yeah it should get better i hope cause one day i might publish it

Answer 9

Mhm. It's like the most interesting story I have read. No lies

Answer 10

wait i have some more of the story let me post it real quick

Answer 11

hmm Such an interesting story good job!!

Answer 12

As soon as school ends I’m going to go to bed and sleep till my mom wakes me up, so I could eat supper then I would go back to bed and sleep till morning. After school I came home and layed down in my bed, I fell asleep reading a book about ghosts, a few minutes later my mom came into my room and told me,“If you want to go eat, supper is ready,?” “ I’m not hungry,"I said “All right, if you do get hungry, please eat,”she said “I will,”I said. I got up a few minutes later and ate something small so I wouldn’t be hungry anymore. After I got something to eat I went back to bed and in the middle of the night someone came into the house. I heard him open my door to see a six foot tall man looking down at me with a creepy smile, I started to reach for my lamp but the man moved closer to my bed, so I quit trying to reach for the light so he quit moving towards my bed. My mom opened my door and the guy stabbed my side and my heart then left out the window. My mom called the police station but the police didn’t get here on time, once they got here they checked my pulse. Then the ambulance got here and they tried to revive me but nothing happened so they announced me dead at twelve forty six am.






The coroner came into my bedroom and told them to take me to the morgue then they put me on a table to examine me to find out what happened to me, the police interviewed my mom to see if she saw the man or not and she told them that he had a skull on his wrist he also had dark hair and blue eyes. But that’s all she could remember. They told her thank you for helping, she nodded then went home, locked the doors and windows just in case it happened again. Which it did, it happened to a kid that was the same age as me but it was a girl this time. I think he just murders kids not adults because everytime a adult comes into the kids room he leaves through the window, but sadly for my mom she went to my feneral. She went on stage and said my son was different from the others, he would say the weirdest things, he never lied to anyone. I just wanted to say I miss you my boy. My dad came up and said my son never liked building things, but he loved writing about ghosts and weird things. I never knew that boy but he is the most important thing keeping this family together, I miss you, my boy. After that a few more people came up and said something about me. This is the part where I wish I was still alive. But if I was I wouldn't hear all these amazing things my family and friends said about me, so I decided to watch over them to keep them safe from the killer. I really want him dead but I can’t kill him because that would be to curel plus I don’t kill people, so I went to go find my parents. I saw them fighting so I went to listen to what they were saying but when I got there they were already walking away from each other. I can’t believe I didn’t get to hear them fighting, what were they even fighting about anyways. Oh well I guess I’ll never know. A few days later, I saw my mom give dad her wedding band and then she walked away, why did she give him the ring, probably because she was getting a divorce with him, I hope not but she is. I overheard dad talking to a woman on the phone, she sounded like one of thoses karen’s off of one of thoses tv shows, she said that the divorse papers better be signed by the time she got here. Sadly for her I wasn’t going to let that happen because I want my family to stay together no matter what happens, so I kind of messed with them. Which was fun while it lasted. But the Karen still came over, so I decided to “welcome” her with a little scare. I put the photo on dad’s bed and she went in there, so I followed her. I saw her grab money out of my dad’s safe and put it in her pockets. I decided, why not show dad she’s stealing from him, she went into the living room and my dad was on the coach. I grabbed the money then I put some on the floor, I also pulled the money up some to make it look like it fell. Then my dad saw the money in her pocket and he said you don’t have to steal, next time ask me if you want money dear, I was shocked, I thought my dad would be furious with her but he wasn't, It was the complete opposite, why was it okay for the karen to get the money but not my mom? This is strange…

Answer 13

now i need a better title then The Photo

Answer 14

OKAY WOW I LOVE IT

Answer 15

i have no clue

Answer 16

Hmmm so basically you called it "The Photo" at first?

Answer 17

yes

Answer 18

Well idk- So it's about how he died right-?

Answer 19

So maybe since it's based on the night he died

Answer 20

The title could relate to it-?

Answer 21

so i should name it My death,Dave's last breath or Detath do us part

Answer 22

i don't know xD

Answer 23

Uhm I'm not good at titles. Maybe like "The Broken Down House" Idk sorry if it sounds. And yeah "Death Do Us Part" Seems like a good title

Answer 24

okey then death do us part is the new title

Answer 25

Okay. Awesome title

Answer 26

I love reading so I have a high standard... this master peice right here has raised my standard tramaticly.. for a teen to right such a master piece, your brain is creative... I love this story I really hope that this is not the and of it... I would like to know what the mom is doing if possiable... just know that this.. is a master piece

Answer 27

AHHHH THIS IS SO GOOD BESTIE

Answer 28

thanks guys

Answer 29

also i hope i can make more of this it just takes time

Answer 30

this is good and keeps up the good work and don't give up

Answer 31

future book writer

Answer 32

maybe

Answer 33

future #1 writer is more like it

Answer 34

xD

Answer 35

yes

Answer 36

awesome

Answer 37

sweet!!