Question

Could someone tell me what they think of chapter 1 of my story, please?

Answer 1

It has been a stressful day, high school is hard and I just want to give up. I know I can't if I want to achieve my goal of becoming a artist and doctor. I just don't understand why I need U.S History for an artist or even a doctor. It doesn't make sense. It had been good in my first semester with my two best friends. Now that my last semester started, I have one class with only my bestie, Julia, which is orchestra. Its not bad we chat more than I do with my other best friend, Mackenzie, from last trimester. Now although I chat with Julia more I still wish Mackenzie and I were in the same class. Julia and I always take walks, talk about our friends turning into zombies and how I always save them. It was Saturday, so I texted Julia to see if she wanted to go for a walk, but it turned out she was hanging out with her boyfriend. So I texted Mackenzie, instead to see if she wanted to go for a walk and she said, "No I am on a date with Mack". I knew who Mack was and I just thought she could have done better but I just said, "Okay, maybe another day". Since Julia and her boyfriend, Kevin got together I became more lonely. But I am happy for both of them and they were so perfect together. I don't know why I thought everything was fine but my body told me something different. I saw Mackenzie in the Hall on Monday and she looked so happy giving Mack a hug. I felt like I was going to die inside, but I just said, "Hi" instead. Then went straight to class. When I was in class, I couldn't stop thinking of Mackenzie hugging him. Thirty minutes into class and I raised my hand to go to the bathroom. I quickly walked to the bathroom and started crying. I don't know why I started crying, but I couldn't stop. I pulled my phone out and told Julia to come to the second floor bathroom. When I heard her voice enter the bathroom I let her into the stall I was in and I told her everything. She comforted and told me, "I probably had a crush on her". I never thought about that because I never looked at girls like that, I just liked boys. So I told her, "I know I can't be with her because she is with Mack and my parents said two girls can never be together." She told me it was perfectly fine for me to be with another girl and that I am right that I can't break up her relationship when she is so happy. I agreed. So instead I said goodbye to Julia and we went back to our classes. I was on my way back to orchestra and for some reason I saw someone looking right at me. It was a guy. All I was thinking, "Who is he?". He began walking towards me and I got so nervous I walked to my seat where Julia sat as well. He saw me walk to my seat and turned back to his seat. I got a weird but lovely feeling in my stomach. I ignored my stomach. It didn't matter though because the feeling came back when I was going to the bathroom to go pee. Before I entered the bathroom, the same guy was right behind me. He touched my shoulder and I almost slapped him, but I caught myself before I did. He turned me around and kissed me. I was just frozen in place. I was still kissing him when a group of four people came out of the band room. Luckily, they didn't seem to care. They just asked us to move out of in front of the door. That's when we stopped kissing. He then said, "I am so sorry, I just had my eye on you for awhile. And when you came back into class I knew you just got done crying." I just said, "It's okay, just maybe next time give me a heads up." He then asked me if I wanted to go for a walk after school and we can get know each other more. And of course I said yes. He then waved bye and I went to the bathroom because I had to pee. After school ended for that day, I went to the park and waited for him. He did show up and we took a walk together, while holding hands. After the walk he drove me home. When I got home, I wrote everything he told me about himself. First of all, his name was Ben and he was seventeen years old. He loved the color green. He had to siblings and he had two huskies. I am not going to lie I was kind of jealous he had two dogs and huskies at that. When were walking he asked me to be his girlfriend and to be honest he was very. Plus, it was a way to get over Mackenzie. So I said, "yes". Now I know what it looks like, I am just dating him to make Mackenzie jealous but that not it at all. He is actually very smart, sweet, caring and loyal. And out of everyone I have dated he is one of the few that really cares for me. Anyways, enough of that, it was time to go to school again today. We had five weeks till school was over. I was so excited school was almost over. Ben texted me during class and told me to meet him in the auditorium. The doors, to the auditorium, from the main entrance were locked, so I went through one of the side doors that many people don't go through. Right before I entered the side door, he closed my eyes, turned me around and kissed me. When he kissed me, I felt like I was flying, but that was only the beginning. We went into the auditorium and made out. Now I won't go too far into detail, but, "Wow he was good". Most people would be yelling at me because I just met him and he is just using me. And I know, so I told myself if he doesn't message me like he usually does and tell me to come to the bathroom so we get a kiss in or two. If he doesn't text me, I know he really did use me and I have a perfect idea to sabotage him. The next day I got a text from my best friend saying, she was going to the park and we should join. I told her I was waiting for him to text me back this morning and if he does then we will meet you at the park. And literally five minutes later he texted me back. He said, Good morning, with a kissy face. I had butterflies in my stomach. So, of course I told him good morning and told him that my best friend Julia and her boyfriend Kevin would like to go on a walk with us through the park. He didn't mind, so we met at his house and walked to the park then met Julia and Kevin.

Answer 2

You did amazing

Answer 3

You should write more to it

Answer 4

Thank you I plan on writing more chapters after I finish this one

Answer 5

Good cause I look forward to read more of it 👍🏻

Answer 6

Cool

Answer 7

🤓