Hey, i wrote a song and was hoping for some criticism so lay it on thick the good and the bad pls :)

closure:
Did we both fall in love
Before we were ready?
did we both let go
Before things where steady?
I don't know, I don't know, all I know
Is that now I'm alone

Were we both too scared?
Or were just not prepared ?
For the future and all
The mistakes that it bears
all I know
Is that now I'm alone

Yeah, these are questions in my head
Answers I know I won’t get
Thoughts I never said
That I kinda wish I did

I guess sometimes you find the one
But the timing's off
The age is wrong
Maybe we would be closer
If we were a couple years older

I guess sometimes you fall in love
Then one day you wake up
And everything's over
Without any closure

Did we both think that this
Was for the best all around?
Or were we too afraid
To have no one around?
I don't know, all I know
Is that now I'm alone

Did we hope on a star
That was a little to far
Was the age between us
Too great for our hearts?
I don't know, all I know
Is that now I'm alone

Yeah, these are questions in my head
Answers I know I won't get
Thoughts I never said
That I kinda wish I did

I guess sometimes you find the one
But the timing's off
The place is wrong
Maybe we would be closer
If we were a couple years older

I guess sometimes you fall in love
Then one day feels like you wake up
And everything's over
Without any closure

Question

Hey, i wrote a song and was hoping for some criticism so lay it on thick the good and the bad pls :)

closure:
Did we both fall in love
Before we were ready?
did we both let go 
Before things where steady?
I don't know, I don't know, all I know
Is that now I'm alone

Were we both too scared?
Or were just not prepared ?
For the future and all
The mistakes that it bears
all I know
Is that now I'm alone

Yeah, these are questions in my head
Answers I know I won’t get
Thoughts I never said
That I kinda wish I did

I guess sometimes you find the one
But the timing's off
The age is wrong
Maybe we would be closer
If we were a couple years older

I guess sometimes you fall in love
Then one day you wake up
And everything's over
Without any closure

Did we both think that this
Was for the best all around?
Or were we too afraid
To have no one around?
I don't know, all I know
Is that now I'm alone

Did we hope on a star
That was a little to far 
Was the age between us
Too great for our hearts?
I don't know, all I know
Is that now I'm alone

Yeah, these are questions in my head
Answers I know I won't get
Thoughts I never said
That I kinda wish I did

I guess sometimes you find the one
But the timing's off
The place is wrong
Maybe we would be closer
If we were a couple years older

I guess sometimes you fall in love
Then one day feels like you wake up
And everything's over
Without any closure

Rigo · Answer

felt 😭

ParisJ06 · Answer

@rigo wrote:

felt 😭

yessir

personification · Answer

It SmElLs LiKe Pickle

100k · Answer

I absolutely love this so much!  Great job <333

ParisJ06 · Answer

@100k wrote:

I absolutely love this so much! Great job <333

thank you so much :)

100k · Answer

@parisj06 wrote:

@100k wrote:

I absolutely love this so much! Great job <333

thank you so much :)

ofc, keep writing more!

anthony5012005 · Answer

really good great job 10000/10000

ParisJ06 · Answer

@personification wrote:

It SmElLs LiKe Pickle

YuMmY

ParisJ06 · Answer

@anthony5012005 wrote:

really good great job 10000/10000

thank you

anthony5012005 · Answer

@parisj06 wrote:

@anthony5012005 wrote:

really good great job 10000/10000

thank you

yw

personification · Answer

@parisj06 wrote:

@personification wrote:

It SmElLs LiKe Pickle

YuMmY

supposed to be the A word yk

Mrrippeter · Answer

Omg Paris this was really good low-key wish u had good bars but it was deep and real good!

ParisJ06 · Answer

@personification wrote:

@parisj06 wrote:

@personification wrote:

It SmElLs LiKe Pickle

YuMmY

supposed to be the A word yk

oops

Mrrippeter · Answer

I had good bars not u lol

ParisJ06 · Answer

@mrrippeter wrote:

Omg Paris this was really good low-key wish u had good bars but it was deep and real good!

thank youuuuuu love yaa

Mrrippeter · Answer

@mrrippeter wrote:

Omg Paris this was really good low-key wish i had good bars but it was deep and real good!

mrwhskers · Answer

IT. IS. AMAZING PARISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOU DID SO WEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

ParisJ06 · Answer

@mrwhskers wrote:

IT. IS. AMAZING PARISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOU DID SO WEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

AHHHHHHH THANKSSSSSS EEEE

Mrrippeter · Answer

Thanks Paris ur super talented

mrwhskers · Answer

@parisj06 wrote:

@mrwhskers wrote:

IT. IS. AMAZING PARISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOU DID SO WEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

AHHHHHHH THANKSSSSSS EEEE

YWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

ParisJ06 · Answer

@mrrippeter wrote:

Thanks Paris ur super talented

aww im not blushin you are

Mrrippeter · Answer

Girl am I making u blush oh no lol

ParisJ06 · Answer

@mrrippeter wrote:

Girl am I making u blush oh no lol

idkkkkk r u

personification · Answer

@mrrippeter wrote:

Thanks Paris ur super talented

talent is objective, meaning if you see good things as awful then awful things will seem good pretty common misconception

Mrrippeter · Answer

@parisj06 wrote:

@mrrippeter wrote:

Girl am I making u blush oh no lol

idkkkkk r u

@parisj06 wrote:

@mrrippeter wrote:

Girl am I making u blush oh no lol

idkkkkk r u

Am I hmmmm

ParisJ06 · Answer

@personification wrote:

@mrrippeter wrote:

Thanks Paris ur super talented

talent is objective, meaning if you see good things as awful then awful things will seem good pretty common misconception

well is there anything that you think is wrong with it maybe I can fix it to where your satisfied

Mrrippeter · Answer

Idk if I am lol

ParisJ06 · Answer

@mrrippeter wrote:

@parisj06 wrote:

@mrrippeter wrote:

Girl am I making u blush oh no lol

idkkkkk r u

@parisj06 wrote:

@mrrippeter wrote:

Girl am I making u blush oh no lol

idkkkkk r u

Am I hmmmm

hmmmmmm idkkk

personification · Answer

deletus pleasus

ParisJ06 · Answer

@personification wrote:

deletus pleasus

im just trying to improve and deleting doesn't give room for improvement if you don't like it then you said your piece so you can go

personification · Answer

well not i feel bad

personification · Answer

now*

Mrrippeter · Answer

Girl has raw skills ngl

Ashlynisannoying · Answer

its really goodddddd

Mrrippeter · Answer

@ashlynisannoying wrote:

its really goodddddd

Yes she is

ParisJ06 · Answer

@personification wrote:

now*

@personification wrote:

well not i feel bad

sorry im not trying to make you feel bad just trying to make everyone happy

personification · Answer

btw line 4 where should be were

ParisJ06 · Answer

@ashlynisannoying wrote:

its really goodddddd

thank you so much

Ashlynisannoying · Answer

@parisj06 wrote:

@ashlynisannoying wrote:

its really goodddddd

thank you so much

of course!

ParisJ06 · Answer

@personification wrote:

btw line 4 where should be were

thanks lol I just did It today lol and haven't put much care into grammar

Mrrippeter · Answer

Ppl this is so cool I hope that one day u can share this with the world and show ur musical abilities to everyone!

personification · Answer

typo*

@parisj06 wrote:

@personification wrote:

btw line 4 where should be were

thanks lol I just did It today lol and haven't put much care into grammar

ParisJ06 · Answer

@mrrippeter wrote:

Ppl this is so cool I hope that one day u can share this with the world and show ur musical abilities to everyone!

aw thank you so much

ilikemexicans · Answer

its a good song i love it sm

ParisJ06 · Answer

@ilikemexicans wrote:

its a good song i love it sm

thank you :)

Mrrippeter · Answer

I love it as well

5172319 · Answer

OMG I LOVE IT - u shoiuld sing it and put it on  spotify :D

Sharkattack123 · Answer

Thats goood

ParisJ06 · Answer

@5172319 wrote:

OMG I LOVE IT - u shoiuld sing it and put it on spotify :D

Thank you so much and lol I don’t sing

ParisJ06 · Answer

@sharkattack123 wrote:

Thats goood

Thank you :)

Sharkattack123 · Answer

yw

5172319 · Answer

@parisj06 wrote:

@5172319 wrote:

OMG I LOVE IT - u shoiuld sing it and put it on spotify :D

Thank you so much and lol I don’t sing

oh ookk

624Simpson · Answer

i felt that its heat make more

1008426 · Answer

10/10 its really good

ParisJ06 · Answer

@624simpson wrote:

i felt that its heat make more

Thanks lol

ParisJ06 · Answer

@1008426 wrote:

10/10 its really good

Thank you. Means a lot

1008426 · Answer

@parisj06 wrote:

@1008426 wrote:

10/10 its really good

Thank you. Means a lot

yww keep up the good work c:

gilromer017 · Answer

I have someone in my life rn and I wonder when/if its all over ill think the same thing this song explains so well. It hit my heart and resounded within me.  AMAZING JOB!! More pls <3

OLIVER69 · Answer

love it

Flowerpower5290 · Answer

nicee!!