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ParisJ06:

Hey, i wrote a song and was hoping for some criticism so lay it on thick the good and the bad pls :) closure: Did we both fall in love Before we were ready? did we both let go Before things where steady? I don't know, I don't know, all I know Is that now I'm alone Were we both too scared? Or were just not prepared ? For the future and all The mistakes that it bears all I know Is that now I'm alone Yeah, these are questions in my head Answers I know I won’t get Thoughts I never said That I kinda wish I did I guess sometimes you find the one But the timing's off The age is wrong Maybe we would be closer If we were a couple years older I guess sometimes you fall in love Then one day you wake up And everything's over Without any closure Did we both think that this Was for the best all around? Or were we too afraid To have no one around? I don't know, all I know Is that now I'm alone Did we hope on a star That was a little to far Was the age between us Too great for our hearts? I don't know, all I know Is that now I'm alone Yeah, these are questions in my head Answers I know I won't get Thoughts I never said That I kinda wish I did I guess sometimes you find the one But the timing's off The place is wrong Maybe we would be closer If we were a couple years older I guess sometimes you fall in love Then one day feels like you wake up And everything's over Without any closure

Rigo:

felt 😭

ParisJ06:

@rigo wrote:
felt 😭
yessir

personification:

It SmElLs LiKe Pickle

100k:

I absolutely love this so much! Great job <333

ParisJ06:

@100k wrote:
I absolutely love this so much! Great job <333
thank you so much :)

100k:

@parisj06 wrote:
@100k wrote:
I absolutely love this so much! Great job <333
thank you so much :)
ofc, keep writing more!

anthony5012005:

really good great job 10000/10000

ParisJ06:

@personification wrote:
It SmElLs LiKe Pickle
YuMmY

ParisJ06:

@anthony5012005 wrote:
really good great job 10000/10000
thank you

anthony5012005:

@parisj06 wrote:
@anthony5012005 wrote:
really good great job 10000/10000
thank you
yw

personification:

@parisj06 wrote:
@personification wrote:
It SmElLs LiKe Pickle
YuMmY
supposed to be the A word yk

Mrrippeter:

Omg Paris this was really good low-key wish u had good bars but it was deep and real good!

ParisJ06:

@personification wrote:
@parisj06 wrote:
@personification wrote:
It SmElLs LiKe Pickle
YuMmY
supposed to be the A word yk
oops

Mrrippeter:

I had good bars not u lol

ParisJ06:

@mrrippeter wrote:
Omg Paris this was really good low-key wish u had good bars but it was deep and real good!
thank youuuuuu love yaa

Mrrippeter:

@mrrippeter wrote:
Omg Paris this was really good low-key wish i had good bars but it was deep and real good!

mrwhskers:

IT. IS. AMAZING PARISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOU DID SO WEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

ParisJ06:

@mrwhskers wrote:
IT. IS. AMAZING PARISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOU DID SO WEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
AHHHHHHH THANKSSSSSS EEEE

Mrrippeter:

Thanks Paris ur super talented

mrwhskers:

@parisj06 wrote:
@mrwhskers wrote:
IT. IS. AMAZING PARISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOU DID SO WEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
AHHHHHHH THANKSSSSSS EEEE
YWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

ParisJ06:

@mrrippeter wrote:
Thanks Paris ur super talented
aww im not blushin you are

Mrrippeter:

Girl am I making u blush oh no lol

ParisJ06:

@mrrippeter wrote:
Girl am I making u blush oh no lol
idkkkkk r u

personification:

@mrrippeter wrote:
Thanks Paris ur super talented
talent is objective, meaning if you see good things as awful then awful things will seem good pretty common misconception

Mrrippeter:

@parisj06 wrote:
@mrrippeter wrote:
Girl am I making u blush oh no lol
idkkkkk r u
@parisj06 wrote:
@mrrippeter wrote:
Girl am I making u blush oh no lol
idkkkkk r u
Am I hmmmm

ParisJ06:

@personification wrote:
@mrrippeter wrote:
Thanks Paris ur super talented
talent is objective, meaning if you see good things as awful then awful things will seem good pretty common misconception
well is there anything that you think is wrong with it maybe I can fix it to where your satisfied

Mrrippeter:

Idk if I am lol

ParisJ06:

@mrrippeter wrote:
@parisj06 wrote:
@mrrippeter wrote:
Girl am I making u blush oh no lol
idkkkkk r u
@parisj06 wrote:
@mrrippeter wrote:
Girl am I making u blush oh no lol
idkkkkk r u
Am I hmmmm
hmmmmmm idkkk

personification:

deletus pleasus

ParisJ06:

@personification wrote:
deletus pleasus
im just trying to improve and deleting doesn't give room for improvement if you don't like it then you said your piece so you can go

personification:

well not i feel bad

personification:

now*

Mrrippeter:

Girl has raw skills ngl

Ashlynisannoying:

its really goodddddd

Mrrippeter:

@ashlynisannoying wrote:
its really goodddddd
Yes she is

ParisJ06:

@personification wrote:
now*
@personification wrote:
well not i feel bad
sorry im not trying to make you feel bad just trying to make everyone happy

personification:

btw line 4 where should be were

ParisJ06:

@ashlynisannoying wrote:
its really goodddddd
thank you so much

Ashlynisannoying:

@parisj06 wrote:
@ashlynisannoying wrote:
its really goodddddd
thank you so much
of course!

ParisJ06:

@personification wrote:
btw line 4 where should be were
thanks lol I just did It today lol and haven't put much care into grammar

Mrrippeter:

Ppl this is so cool I hope that one day u can share this with the world and show ur musical abilities to everyone!

personification:

typo*

@parisj06 wrote:
@personification wrote:
btw line 4 where should be were
thanks lol I just did It today lol and haven't put much care into grammar

ParisJ06:

@mrrippeter wrote:
Ppl this is so cool I hope that one day u can share this with the world and show ur musical abilities to everyone!
aw thank you so much

ilikemexicans:

its a good song i love it sm

ParisJ06:

@ilikemexicans wrote:
its a good song i love it sm
thank you :)

Mrrippeter:

I love it as well

5172319:

OMG I LOVE IT - u shoiuld sing it and put it on spotify :D

Sharkattack123:

Thats goood

ParisJ06:

@5172319 wrote:
OMG I LOVE IT - u shoiuld sing it and put it on spotify :D
Thank you so much and lol I don’t sing

ParisJ06:

@sharkattack123 wrote:
Thats goood
Thank you :)

Sharkattack123:

yw

5172319:

@parisj06 wrote:
@5172319 wrote:
OMG I LOVE IT - u shoiuld sing it and put it on spotify :D
Thank you so much and lol I don’t sing
oh ookk

624Simpson:

i felt that its heat make more

1008426:

10/10 its really good

ParisJ06:

@624simpson wrote:
i felt that its heat make more
Thanks lol

ParisJ06:

@1008426 wrote:
10/10 its really good
Thank you. Means a lot

1008426:

@parisj06 wrote:
@1008426 wrote:
10/10 its really good
Thank you. Means a lot
yww keep up the good work c:

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