Question

i would like feedback on the beginning of my story !! (there are spelling mistakes and grammar i know)

Answer 1

@curlyheadbella
not any where near finished but i have written the beginning of it

Answer 2

GHOST

Once upon a time there was a kid wandering through the woods with his boyfriend. They were hiding from their parents, they kept running until they found a clearing in the woods but something was wrong, There was a small wooden play house in the middle of it they looked at eachother and Draugr said ,“ come one mi amor lets go in thatll be a good place to hide!” while running to the door of the playhouse and throwing it open, his boyfriend hesitantly followed behind him saying,” are you sure its so old looking it could collapse”. He replied,”nonsense it wont collapse and besides if it did youll have me to protect you.” The inside is what youd expect dusty full of cobwebs, there was a little table and chair with a teapot sitting on it. “Its a lot bigger than i thought it would be” Draugr said while grabbing the small pot while turning around he saw a dark figure standing behind his boyfriend and before he could scream the dark figure grabbed his boyfriend and threw him our of the house and the door slammed shut locking you inside. You hear your boyfriend scream to you as he pounds on the door trying to open it Panicking you run to the door a try to pull it open yelling back to him. You feel something dripping onto your hand and as You back away from the door you see the dark figure crawl down from the ceiling. He snaps his fingers and immediately several lit candles appeared and illuminated the room showing him that the tiny play house has somehow transformed into a normal sized house with a fireplace, a couch, and a small kitchen.

Answer 3

I'm going to be honest, you don't really know how to start a story do you? Because, you don't usually start a story with "Once upon a time" unless your doing a remake of "Hansel and Gretel".

Answer 4

if you have a better idea for a story starter, please tell me like actually

Answer 5

Well, maybe you should start with the main characters thoughts, like, "I sure am hungry, wonder what I can find out here" something like that, and then explain what's going on.

Answer 6

Yea its good but like dude said dont start it out with "once upon a time". Respectfully

Answer 7

i could re-write it for you and you could use it if u like it-

Answer 8

Once upon a time, a young man walked through the woods with his partner. They were running away from their parents when they came across a clearing in the woods, but there was something strange: a tiny wooden play house in the midst of it. They glanced at each other and Draugr said, "Come on mi amor, let's go in, that'll be an excellent spot to hide!" His boyfriend nervously followed behind him as he ran to the door of the playhouse and pushed it open, saying, "Are you sure it's extremely old looking it may collapse?" He said, "nonsense, it won't collapse, and if it does, you'll have me to protect you." The inside is as expected dusty and cobwebby There was a little table and chair with a teapot on it. "It's a lot bigger than I expected," Draugr muttered as he took the tiny pot. As he turned back, he noticed a dark figure waiting behind his boyfriend, and before he could scream, the dark thing grabbed his boyfriend and flung him out of the home, and the door slammed shut, trapping him inside. His boyfriend screams at him as he bangs on the door, attempting to open it. Panicking, he rushed to the door and try to shout back at him. As he backs away from the door, he notices something dripping onto his hands and the black figure crawling down from the ceiling. He flicks his fingers, and numerous lighted candles appear and illuminate the area, revealing that the tiny playhouse has magically converted into a normal-sized house complete with a fireplace, a couch, and a small kitchen.