Question

I wrote a story and would like some honest feedback.

Answer 1

I was walking down the streets of my small town, running late for my job. I couldn't believe I was going to be late on my second day of my job. I couldn't have any distractions today, unfortunately, the universe likes doing the opposite of what you want. I was started walking faster and I ended up running into someone. I fell down to the ground and my Butter started to hurt so Buttering bad. I looked up at the person, ready to yell at them, but they were picking up my bag and offering to help me up. I pushed my self up and apologized to them. "It's fine, give me your number so I can tell you how you can make it up to me." I couldn't believe him, he was so unbelievable, but the next thing I knew I was handing them my phone. I walked away and into my office. I started to work but all I could think about was that guy. My phone started to vibrate, so I picked it up and saw that someone named Axton texted me. I texted back, "Hey" and they responded with, "Remember me, you ran into me." I couldn't believe that the hottest guy I ran into had the hottest name too. He asked for my name. "Oh, its Lucas." I told him. He responded with a smiley face and told me that he would be calling later. I couldn't stop blushing, then my boss walked over, handed me some papers and then walked away.

I cleaned up my desk and then walked home. When I got home, I threw my bag on my bed, then my phone started to ring. I looked at the name and it was Axton. I took off my shirt and ruffled up my hair, then answered it. I couldn't stop blushing at his gorgeous face. We talked for about five hours, but I wasn't keeping track. I was so happy talking to him. He had to go, but asked me if I wanted to me up at the diner for lunch tomorrow. And of course I said, yes. We hung up and I fell asleep on my bed. The next morning, my alarm went off and I jumped up out of my bed. I ran to the shower and scrubbed my body. I hopped out of the shower, put on a short skirt and a white dress shirt. I ate some breakfast, brushed my teeth and worked on some of my work papers. When I finished with five of my papers, it was already one o'clock. So I grabbed my wallet and I walked down the streets to the diner. I stopped for a second, when I saw him sitting at one of the booths. I walked calmly inside, although my body heart was beating very fast. I walked to the booth he was sitting at and sat down. He smiled. I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach. His smile was so warming.

I ordered a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich with some chips. Axton ordered some ramen. And we both ordered some wine for our meals. He asked me, "So where were you going, when you ran into me." I was kinda surprised he asked me this. "Oh, I was headed to my job, I am an accountant, I know boring, but it pays well." He laughed a little and said, "You legs look good in that skirt and I would love to squeeze your thigh." I choked on a bite of my sandwich and looked up at him. "Oh, sorry just ignore me." I smiled, stood up, walked over to his side and sat down beside him. I placed my hand on his leg and rubbed his leg. I could tell he was getting hot. He moved my hand and placed it on the table. To where he placed his hand on my inner thigh and started to rub there. I let out a little moan and a waiter walked up to us. The waiter asked if we were done with our meal and took our plates and left. I whispered in his ear and Axton turned bright red. I stood up, put some money on the table, grabbed his hand and walked out of the diner.

Answer 2

thats oddly sexual

Answer 3

sound good

Answer 4

i would love to read more of that is there any more parts

Answer 5

yea I'm working on more

Answer 6

oh ok i would love to read the rest when your done

Answer 7

thats not bad tbh but the moan part and uh...

Answer 8

I like this story. It's really good. Pls post some more pls!

Answer 9

It's uh f-i-n-e I suppose

Answer 10

cool

Answer 11

its very iinteresting..

Answer 12

Good story line though

Answer 13

You're great at writing stories but getting that touchy at basically one of the first encounters is a bit crazy, but i do like it.

Answer 14

@joe348

Answer 15

Sounds zesty up in here🤭

Answer 16

@uhhhkhakis

Answer 17

Yes?

Answer 18

I am in this story xD

Answer 19

I see.