Question

I've made a song, it's short but can yall tell me what you think

Answer 1

Faster than a car
Terrifying snake
Enraged and like a parr
He's half man and half sweepstake

Master of cooking I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your futures and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see the lings
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you seam
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you seam
Master
Master

666 is the number of the snake.

A horrible rat nestled somewhere in time
A bitter snake - no warnings, no signs
Judgment day and the a rude demon arrives
Eventually, they all commit crimes

The dreams went SMACK, there was no use turning back
'Cause I just had to see, was a snake watching me?
In the mist the futures twist
Was all this swell, or just some kind of hell?

666 is the number of the snake.

Is it the end, my friend?
Master you're going 'round the bend
Half man and half sweepstake
No, no, please, no
666 ... 666

Answer 2

I think its a good start lol
I kinda like how it alternates between rhyming and freestyling, it adds contrast to the song. Js keep practicing :3 Im sure youll do great (Not saying that it isn't good rn but yk, constructive criticism)

Answer 3

That is amazing I feel like the style is kind of going towards older rock

Answer 4

That's amazing! I'm in the process of making my end in than I will post I like it tho!

Answer 5

The song appears to have a dark and ominous tone, with references to snakes, demons, and the number 666. The lyrics are cryptic and abstract, making it difficult to discern a clear message or story. However, the use of repetition in the chorus ("Master, Master") creates a memorable hook.

One suggestion for improvement would be to clarify the meaning behind the lyrics to make them more accessible to the listener. Adding more concrete details or imagery could also help the listener connect with the song. Additionally, varying the rhyme scheme and meter could add more interest to the lyrics and make them more engaging to listen to.

Answer 6

I really like the lyrics. I make songs myself. Make this into a masterpiece!