Question

So I wrote a little about the first day of my new high school. Tell me what you think. (True story)

Answer 1

My sophomore year (chapter 1):

I kept tossing and turning at the sound of screaming. I can't tell if it's all in my head or if it's real. I just want to escape these sounds into a surreal peaceful slumber. All of a sudden I was underwater and I started choking and gasping for air. I tried to swim to the surface but I kept being dragged down. I woke up and I was drenched in sweat. I ran to the bathroom, took off my clothes, and got in the shower. I turned the shower head on as I sat down on the tiles of the shower. I held the back of my head as I cried in the shower. I felt so alone, my body was aching all over, I wanted to die. I didn't know what to do. For the next thirty minutes, I sat at the bottom of the shower. I stood up and finished my shower. I got out of the shower and got dressed, brushed my teeth, and ruffled my hair up more. Before I left, I told myself to never let anyone see me upset or stressed and put on a fake smile all the way. And that's what I did, I left the bathroom and smiled. My parents are hardly out of their room. I went back there once to get something and it smelled like weed and it was super foggy. They are obviously doing drugs, so I just left that room that day. I grabbed my bag and an apple. I locked the door as I walked to school.

I was the new student at this new high school. My family has moved around Indiana a lot. I walked into BHSS and let's just say my entrance was not so great. As I walked into school, I slipped and fell on one of the mats. I hit my head and passed out. I don't even know if anyone helped me or what because when I woke up, I was in the nurse's office. I looked around and it was dark and I didn't see anyone. Granted I need my eyes to adjust and when they did let's just say I met this cutest guy ever. He seemed like one of those cool, kind skater guys And as he spoke, I felt like I died and gone to a magical place full of all good things.

"Hey, you took a big hit. No one other than me and my friends saw what happened so you don't have to be completely humiliated." He said in a quiet, deep voice.

I managed to mumble back, "T-thanks I guess. My head still hurts though."

He laughed a little. "Yeah you did just hit your head. Also isn't it custom to give the person your name after they help you?".

I smiled. "Yeah I guess it's custom in some countries, but I don't remember my name."

"W-what, how hard did you hit your head? You need to see a real doctor."

I laughed. "I'm just joking. I know my name, it's Phoenix." I reached out my hand.

He took it, shook it, and then playfully punched my arm. "Don't do that. I could have had a heart attack.

"Well I told you my name, now isn't it custom for the "hero" to give me his game?".

He crossed his arms. "I suppose it is, but maybe you got to earn it."

"Your name?!"

"Yes I saved you, what have you done for me?"

"Fair point, so what should I do?"

He smirked. "Simple, meet me after school in the band room."

I shook my head and when I did, he got up and left. I looked up at the clock on the wall and I had two hours and forty minutes till school was over. I got up and just walked out of the nurse's office. I looked around for the counselor's office to get my schedule, then head to my fourth period. And of course I didn't realize it was math. I wanted to die, I hated and sucked at math. I was in Algebra two, so that was worse. I was so happy I wore a hoodie because I just slept in that class and it was quite comfy. The math teacher seemed chill or she heard what happened and decided to take it easy on me. I tried to sleep but I still image or something that I was underwater. So I woke up and when I did it was time for my fifth and final period. I was actually looking towards it because it was history my favorite of all, well besides music/art. As I entered the class, I nearly fell again. I didn't though as the teacher told me where to sit and that was where I nearly fainted. As I sat down, he tapped me on the shoulder.

"Stalking me, now?".

I laughed very very quietly as I whispered back, "Nope, history is my favorite subject and I always do great in this subject.

The teacher nearly asked, "Does anyone know what the cold war is?"

I raised my hand, "The Cold War was a period of geopolitical tension between the United States and the Soviet Union and their respective allies, the Western Bloc and the Eastern Bloc."

"That's correct." The teacher said as he continued talking about the cold war.

"How the Butter did you get that?".

"Told you I love history."

I could feel him leaning over my shoulder to look what I was doing. And all I was doing was taking notes. I then felt his fingers on me as he touched my neck gently. I didn't know what he was doing but it felt good and it relieved some stress. I finished the packet the teacher just gave out and handed it back to the teacher. The bell rang as I walked out the door with my bag. I walked to the band room and waited for him there as I was reading a book. He walked in and looked at me. I stood up, dropping the book on my chair.

"So, can I know your name yet?"

"One more thing." He said as he locked the door and turned off the lights.

I couldn't see a thing, but then one light turned on a drum set and he started playing a drum solo. I gasped and clapped my hands. "So why do I need to be here?"

"To help me, I need more people to help me with this song I made."

"Oh, well what do you want me to do?"

"Sing then you can try and I mean really try to play, and instrument."

I nodded and he handed me lyrics to sing. It looked like a very sad song. I sang it in a low deep voice and I moved along with the beat. I could tell he liked it, but I didn't like singing.

"Wow, that was good."

"Sure, I guess, but I'm sure you can find someone who sings better, may I try the five-string bass now?"

"Yes, of course." He points over to two of the five-stringed basses.

I grabbed one, tuned it, and played a few notes as I walked back to the mic. I sat down on a stool and started playing it. I looked up at him and our eyes met. I couldn't look away. He got up and started to sing in the mic as he looked at me. We finished the song and I put he guitar down and as I looked back up, he grabbed my hand and took me to his drum sat.

"Sit, please. I want to show you something."

Crosses my arms. "Name first."

"I did tell you if you helped me. You could hear my name, so it's Benjamin, but call me Ben."

I sat down. "Okay, finally I heard your name."

He took my hands, and we both held the drumsticks as he helped me hit a few drums. I looked up at him and he leaned in closer to me and kissed me. I drop the drumsticks and he pulled back. He left the room and I just sat there confused. I grabbed my bag and walked home. I threw my bad on the floor and jumped in my bed, thinking over and over about what just happened. I eventually fell asleep.

Answer 2

That was good! keep it up

Answer 3

it was good (:

Answer 4

nice

Answer 5

It seems like a detailed and personal account of your first day at a new high school, and you have done a good job of describing your experiences and emotions.

Answer 6

This reminds me of my first day- A nightmare. I was so excited for the first day then everything happened and i remembered I had to do it all again the NEXT day-..

Answer 7

This is absolutely amazing. You have a true talent of writing.

Answer 8

that so amazing keep up the work girly

Answer 9

i love the story so much

Answer 10

niceee

Answer 11

this is amazinggg!