Question

So I decided to write a story... honest opinions, please.

Answer 1

Phoenix was thinking about Jeremy again. Jeremy was a daring saint with a caring heart and was a small brunette guy.

Phoenix walked over to the window and reflected on his wild surroundings. He had always loved high school with its hard, happy halls. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel anxious.

Then he saw something in the distance or rather someone. It was the daring figure of Jeremy.

Phoenix gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a sweet, kind, bloody Mary drinker with curvy thighs and a cute smile. His friends saw him as a fair, helpful sex object. Once, he had even brought a wet puppy back from the brink of death.
But not even a sweet person who had once brought a wet puppy back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Jeremy had in store today.
The rain hammered like two women fighting over custody of a cat, making Phoenix sad. Jeremy was wet in the distance, but still looking fine though. Phoenix grabbed a small ring that had been strewn nearby on the ground; so he picked it up and moved it around in his hands.

As Phoenix stepped under a shaded tree and Jeremy came closer, he could see the spluttering smile on his face.

"I wanted to come over because I wanted to tell you something," Jeremy bellowed, in a gracious tone. He put his hand beside Phoenix's head on the tree, getting closer to him. Phoenix couldn’t wait for what Jeremy had to say.
Phoenix looked back, even more, sad and still messing with the ring. "I’ve seen you looking at me, and I want to know how you feel about me?” Jeremy asked.
They looked at each other with such kind eyes, like two beautiful, graceful swans swimming in a very spiteful lake full of other swans, which had acoustic music playing in the background.
Phoenix studied Jeremy's lips. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I-i uhh I like you, Jeremy, I had a huge crush on you since the start of high school.”

Jeremy looked surprised, not knowing that this is what he would say.
Phoenix could actually hear Jeremy's heart beating quite quickly. Then the daring saint walked away back into the high school.
Not even a drink of Bloody Mary would calm Phoenix's nerves tonight.
Phoenix was unsure of what just happened, but he knew that Jeremy was speechless. So Phoenix took a deep breath and walked into the school. Phoenix was wearing a pink short skirt and a black shirt.
Now that Phoenix thought about Jeremy could have been flustered. Anyways as Phoenix walked into his class, he saw Jeremy in the back as water dripped from his hair.
Phoenix blushed but then made it disappear as he walked to the back of the classroom and found a chair next to Jeremy. Phoenix dropped his pencil and didn’t want to bend over, since he was wearing a skirt, so he put his books on the desk and dropped it like it was hot.
Jeremy did notice because he blushed instantly but kept his eyes on the teacher. Someone else noticed how Phoenix picked up the pencil and slid him a note.
Phoenix opened it and read what it said, “Meet me behind the bleachers after school”. Phoenix looked up at the guy and nodded, not knowing how bad it would get.

(to be continued)

Answer 2

wow that is wonderful u should make more of it.It is interesting.

Answer 3

DO MORE MORE MORE MORE and can I get dino nuggies?

Answer 4

I think it's a really incredible story with so many feelings tied into it. I love this and you should definitely finish it👌

Answer 5

Amazing

Answer 6

Wow this is amazing!