Question

Here's more of my new story...

Answer 1

There was a small sound echoing all throughout the house. This house was quite old and had made a lot of weird sounds, but the sound I heard that night was like a small child say, “hey” throughout the house. I live in that house for almost five years now and I’ve never heard that sound till yesterday. I was going to see if I see where the sound came from, but like all horror movies, if you go near something like that, you’ll die. So instead I took a walk because maybe it was all in my head. After the walk, I went to sleep and I didn’t hear the sound at all. I continued my day like it was no other, except I heard the voice again, but this time it was like it was whispering in my ear and it sounded like a middle-aged woman. The funny thing was that the voice whispered, “Ask him out”. Which normally you don’t hear a weird voice like that whisper that into your ear. I turned around to make sure no one was pranking me and they weren’t. I was staring at a man when the voice whispered. Now usually I try not to stare at a man because it would make me seem like a creep, but this man something was different with him. The voice got louder in my ear saying, “Ask him out”. I would totally ask him out if I didn’t have social anxiety. Last time I tried to ask someone out, my chest got heavy and I almost collapsed right there in the spot. I was lucky that my best friend was with me because he saved me from embarrassment. The voice got louder and louder. I started walking towards the guy and the voice would get softer. It was still quite loud and I knew it wouldn’t stop until I asked him out. I was getting closer when a female approached him, put her hands around him and kissed his lips. I felt a pit in my stomach and my face nearly turned white. As I was turning around, I heard him say, “What are you doing? It’s been a week since we broke up. Leave me alone, psychopath.” I felt my chest ease up and I began to breath normally. I was heading towards another café when the voice whispered, “Stop. Don’t move.” I began getting scared, like what the Sandwich, why can’t I move. So, I stopped walking and that’s when I felt someone touch my shoulder. I acted completely on instinct so I grabbed that person’s hand, twisted it as I turned around and put the person to the ground. As soon as that person was on the ground, I let go and nearly fell back myself. He stood up again, and took a step back, just before speaking. “Oh my, remind me not to get on your bad side.” He laughed a little and my face lit up. He spoke again. “I just wanted to come over here and tell you that I saw you looking at me. And I got to say you looked cute.” I was speechless and couldn’t really speak, which was when the voice whispered to me. “Now’s your chance.” He smiled and shrugged. “Oh well, I guess I will see you around.” Then he turned around and bean walking away. I couldn’t let him go, so I grabbed his wrist and spun him around. “Sorry, but shouldn’t you get my number and I don’t know my name?” The guy smiled and reached into his pocket and handed me his phone. “Here you go. Put your name and number into my phone. And I will do the same.” I handed him my phone and I grabbed his phone. We put our numbers in and our “names” and then smiled at each other for a second. Then he turned around as he called out, “See ya around, Daddy.” I laughed instantly. I knew that he would say whatever I put into the phone. “Yeah, you too, master.” My face turned red as soon as I said that. I soon realized we were both tops, so this will be fun.

Answer 2

its really good bru i would read this if it was a book

Answer 3

The amount of suspense and thrill in this is crazy @oliver69 I like how it was pulling and made me want to continue reading the story to learn new KEY details about the main character. I foresee a possible revealing of maybe a psychological power or intelligence infested concious? Which led to the voice? I love the ending how it was a hook and made me crave more ; keep writing this story, i'm eager to read more! Great work

Answer 4

Coming from another author I liked it but it needs a lil bit more to captivate

Answer 5

I am in, love with this story more than I am in love with my person. This is sincerely the best story even so far. And you've only updated it twice so far. Great job. Keep going.

Answer 6

Wow i really don't know what to say!!! But this is really good. Keep up the great work!!!

Answer 7

i must read more!

Answer 8

I enjoyed reading your story, I loved this, never give up and I hope to see more in the future

Answer 9

"when the voice whispered, “Stop. Don’t move.” I began getting scared, like what the Sandwich, why can’t I move." First off, it's funny that he/she says "what the sandwich". And you messed up simple grammar. You forgot the question mark: "?"

Answer 10

"Why can't I move." Read that without asking it as a question and let me know how that sounds, kiddo. 😉