Question

So my class was asked to do the school newspaper and I was asked to do a topic about shootings. I wanted feedback on it.


Shootings
By Ariana M. -Junior
Slug: Shootings across America


The Columbine Shooting on April 20th, 1999 at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, occurred when two teens went on a shooting spree killing around 13 people, and wounding nearly 20 others before turning there guns to themselves and committing suicide. School shootings were an issue around 20 years ago, and to this day, shootings are an issue still.

School resource officer, Orlando Romine, was interviewed about his experiences/training of school shootings. Officer Romine states, “the steps that we have to take in order to prevent a school shooting is to add bag scanners, metal detectors, and to add locks/security systems on the doors.”

Officer Romine also states, “ you can notice signs that a person gives before a shooting could arise. Such as, changes in the students daily activity, clothes they wear, attitude change,if they’re involved in more violence.” Just over all, if you know the student well enough, you will notice a change in the daily activity.

Shootings can cause stress, trauma, PTSD, on survivors and even people who aren’t directly in one can develop these. Survivors and other citizens are offered Counseling resources, community resources and many other resources. Shootings have effects on people's lives so they want you to know you’re not alone and that people can help you.

If you ever see something out of the ordinary, if something doesn’t seem right, speak up now, you could possibly save many lives. If you see something, say something!

Answer 1

👍🏼

Answer 2

good job

Answer 3

Thank you!

Answer 4

np :)

Answer 5

Overall, I would say it looks good. I came up with a list for some constructive feedback that you can add onto with what you already have.

1. Clarity and Grammar:
Going over grammar and making the sentences a bit more clear. For example, consider revising "to add locks/security systems" to "adding locks and security systems."

2. Detail and Depth:
I would include more on Officer Romine's insights. Include specific examples that illustrate the effectiveness of bag scanners, metal detectors, and security systems.

3. Attribution:
Include where Officer Romine's statements were taken, such as specifying when and where the interview took place which allows credibility to the information presented.

4. Prevention explanation:
Provide more details on preventive measures beyond physical security, such as setting up a supportive environment, mental health awareness, and community engagement instead of just saying, “See something, say something.”

5. Empathy and Survivor Support:
May include a section on the effects of shootings by incorporating personal stories or testimonials to show empathy. This can vary on either teachers at the time, other students, or even parents of the survivors/deceased.

6. Action Taken:
Again, straighten the conclusion with a more persuasive call to action. It helps encourage readers not just to speak up if they notice something unusual but also to actively engage in creating a safer and more aware community.

Answer 6

You’re welcome.

Answer 7

Looks good and umm had some nice comments. I would say just make sure to decapitalize "Counseling" in the second to last paragraph.