Guys what do you think? I'm posting this for my friend since she's still writing:

“This is going to be so much fun!!” Abbigail squealed as she, Daniel, Rachel, Lawrence, Elizabeth, and Ally entered the building to look around.
“Hey, Josh!” Dante called, “You got everything out of the trunk?” He snickered knowing the answer.
“No, I haven’t! And you could’ve helped you know!” Josh wasn’t pleased or laughing at this. “Instead of standing there and looking like a mindless git!”
At this Dante burst into laughter; “I’m good Josh, thanks for the offer, but I’mma go inside and look around a bit and try to…” His voice trailed off as he went inside, still slightly chuckling.
Josh sighs and gets the rest of the stuff from the car and brings it inside. He looks around a bit before calling everyone to the dimly lit dining hall to make rules while they're here. When they are finished making the rules, they play games. There’s an assortment of games they play; like Checkers, Jenga, and Spin the Bottle (Dante’s favorite because he got to kiss Abbigail 4 times :p).
There was laughter and giggles and of course, roughhousing everywhere you looked. No one knew that….
Dante and his twin brother Lawrence were cooking dinner and dessert for everyone. They made glazed chicken with mashed and scalloped potatoes and some vegetables. For dessert, it was vanilla ice cream and sponge cake.
After eating everyone decided to play hide and seek, Josh was the seeker. He waited for everyone to hide and go their separate ways before trying to find them. He found Lawrence after only a little bit of searching. Josh told Lawrence to head back to the dining hall and then they parted ways.
After about thirty minutes after finding Lawrence; Josh hears a shrill scream of “No! Stop it! Stop it! Plea-!”. Then it stopped. Josh stood there for a minute before he turned around and ran towards the scream. As Josh ran, he tripped over several things and fell a couple of times and when he got to the scene he tried to open the door. Won’t budge… He thought and tried several other methods before the door finally opened and what lay there horrified him..
There lay a small, pale body, in a puddle of blood, blonde hair soaked and multiple stab wounds to the stomach and chest. Josh fell to his knees and let out a stifled scream of pure shock and horror. He couldn’t breathe or speak at this very moment.
When the others heard his scream they came rushing over. They all stopped and looked horrified….but Dante

Question

Guys what do you think? I'm posting this for my friend since she's still writing:

“This is going to be so much fun!!” Abbigail squealed as she, Daniel, Rachel, Lawrence, Elizabeth, and Ally entered the building to look around.
	“Hey, Josh!” Dante called, “You got everything out of the trunk?” He snickered knowing the answer.
	“No, I haven’t! And you could’ve helped you know!” Josh wasn’t pleased or laughing at this. “Instead of standing there and looking like a mindless git!”
At this Dante burst into laughter; “I’m good Josh, thanks for the offer, but I’mma go inside and look around a bit and try to…” His voice trailed off as he went inside, still slightly chuckling.
Josh sighs and gets the rest of the stuff from the car and brings it inside. He looks around a bit before calling everyone to the dimly lit dining hall to make rules while they're here. When they are finished making the rules, they play games. There’s an assortment of games they play; like Checkers, Jenga, and Spin the Bottle (Dante’s favorite because he got to kiss Abbigail 4 times :p).
There was laughter and giggles and of course, roughhousing everywhere you looked. No one knew that….
Dante and his twin brother Lawrence were cooking dinner and dessert for everyone. They made glazed chicken with mashed and scalloped potatoes and some vegetables. For dessert, it was vanilla ice cream and sponge cake.
After eating everyone decided to play hide and seek, Josh was the seeker. He waited for everyone to hide and go their separate ways before trying to find them. He found Lawrence after only a little bit of searching. Josh told Lawrence to head back to the dining hall and then they parted ways.
After about thirty minutes after finding Lawrence; Josh hears a shrill scream of “No! Stop it! Stop it! Plea-!”. Then it stopped. Josh stood there for a minute before he turned around and ran towards the scream. As Josh ran, he tripped over several things and fell a couple of times and when he got to the scene he tried to open the door. Won’t budge… He thought and tried several other methods before the door finally opened and what lay there horrified him..
There lay a small, pale body, in a puddle of blood, blonde hair soaked and multiple stab wounds to the stomach and chest. Josh fell to his knees and let out a stifled scream of pure shock and horror. He couldn’t breathe or speak at this very moment. 
When the others heard his scream they came rushing over. They all stopped and looked horrified….but Dante

deadz · Answer

nice