My wounds are deep
but around you they go away instantly

hold my heart and i promise we'll never grow apart
dance with me in the rain it'll wash away all our pain

when your gone it never feels the same
hold me tight and say everything will be ok
cus you brighten up everyday

hold me tight and my cold soul will feel warmer than a fresh pie
no matter how much we wanna d!e we'll be alright because our souls will be forever tied

Question

My wounds are deep
but around you they go away instantly

hold my heart and i promise we'll never grow apart
dance with me in the rain it'll wash away all our pain

when your gone it never feels the same
hold me tight and say everything will be ok 
cus you brighten up everyday

hold me tight and my cold soul will feel warmer than a fresh pie
no matter how much we wanna d!e we'll be alright because our souls will be forever tied

luhivqqcherry · Answer

The poem/song is decent, but it honestly could be improved by changing some words and phrases, also by adding comas, because currently it looks messy.

Bounty · Answer

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

The poem/song is decent, but it honestly could be improved by changing some words and phrases, also by adding comas, because currently it looks messy.

thank youu

Breathless · Answer

btw I know poems don't need to Rhyme but rhyming does help a lot especially tickling the Mind <3

Bounty · Answer

@breathless wrote:

btw I know poems don't need to Rhyme but rhyming does help a lot especially tickling the Mind <3

true

Breathless · Answer

like for instants the instantly if u left that out it would've of felt better >.>

Breathless · Answer

and the brighten me up say because you make me smile everday

Breathless · Answer

Sorry qwp am abit of a perfectionist TvT

Bounty · Answer

Thanks ill edit it when i 
can

Breathless · Answer

and uhm- may I add one more thing? Pwp

Bounty · Answer

It helps so dont be srry

Bounty · Answer

Sure

Breathless · Answer

"hold me tight  and my cold soul will feel warmer" how about hold me tight and still my soul for that when we are together I feel better then cherry trees sways under a summer haze

Breathless · Answer

:?

Bounty · Answer

Omg

Breathless · Answer

hm?

@bounty wrote:

Omg

Bounty · Answer

Thats good

Breathless · Answer

thx -v- I do poems in my free time

Bounty · Answer

I dont normally do luv poems thats why its bad

Breathless · Answer

Ah there simply really Like

Breathless · Answer

Roses are red Violets are blue I love spending valentine with you

Bounty · Answer

Lol not that easy for a sad person

Breathless · Answer

Then do heartbreak ones there fun to do aswell

Breathless · Answer

Since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell, at the end of a lonely street called...Heartbreak hotel

Breathless · Answer

tho that is more of a Music line then anything -v-

Breathless · Answer

oh here's one with Roses are red one

Breathless · Answer

Roses are red violets are blue my heart is dead. solely because of you

Bounty · Answer

Epic ur rlly good

Breathless · Answer

-v-

Breathless · Answer

Brb gotta do stuff

Bounty · Answer

Im better at sining anyways so ttyl ima do kareoke

Breathless · Answer

@bounty wrote:

Im better at sining anyways so ttyl ima do kareoke

Sinning?

Breathless · Answer

@bounty  explain ;D

Bounty · Answer

@breathless wrote:

@bounty explain ;D

:p typo singing left in a hurry

Breathless · Answer

oh my bad

Breathless · Answer

@bounty wrote:

@breathless wrote:

@bounty explain ;D

:p typo singing left in a hurry

well if you need me a dm away lolz

Bones · Answer

It is very very good, keep it up and good job✨

Bounty · Answer

@bones wrote:

It is very very good, keep it up and good job✨

aw thanks

Bounty · Answer

@breathless wrote:

@bounty wrote:

@breathless wrote:

@bounty explain ;D

:p typo singing left in a hurry

well if you need me a dm away lolz

kk

Bones · Answer

@bounty wrote:

@bones wrote:

It is very very good, keep it up and good job✨

aw thanks

Welcome ✨