Guys! I wrote a story for school...
Can anyone help or let me know opinions

The Perfect Murder
I squealed as I opened the box. Lake had gotten me the necklace he’d seen me eyeing at the jewelry store. It was a “just because” gift; he knew me so well! I was so happy, I knew– or, thought– I’d met the perfect guy.
“Well, Amy? Do you like it?” He smiled at me, already reaching to do it up.
“I love it! Thank you so so much.” I looked up at him and smiled, receiving a kiss on my nose.
Later in the day I was cooking dinner as he was out on a run. He forgot his phone on the counter beside the stove. It started to ring and after I quickly set down the egg in my hand, I picked it up. “Hello! I’m so sorry, Lake is out on a run, I can ask him to call you back if you’d like.”
“Huh? Who’s Lake? Who are you –?” She did use quite strong language.
“I’m Lake’s girlfriend, Lake owns this phone.” I was so confused. I didn’t check to see who it was, so I’m not sure if it was a saved number or not. She was as confused as I was.
“The owner of this phone is my fiance, Larry.”
“Can you repeat the phone number?”
She repeated it perfectly, without hesitation. Her fiance? That wasn’t possible. It was mine and Lake’s 2 year anniversary next week. I had a trip planned out–a very expensive trip, for Mardi Gras. It was in February, on the 3rd, that was next month.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Lake! Hurry up, we can’t miss our flight!” I was still going on the trip. He didn’t know I knew; he’d found out soon enough.
“I’m coming, I just can’t find my lucky socks.”
“On your pillow.” I heard his footsteps as he quickly walked over to the bed, he yelled out a thanks. Finally, we were in the car on the way to the airport. We were going to the Bahamas, but I managed to convince him we should go to Gonzales, Texas. It has the highest crime rate there, so it would be perfect for my plan.
I sighed and leaned my head against the window. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, it was 4:12. We had 48 minutes until our flight, the adrenaline was starting to kick in. I yawned and stepped out of the car. “Okay! Let’s find airport security, then our gate.”
We finally got settled in the plane. The ride was okay, only about 13 hours. When we got off the plane, the hot sun felt so different than in Nebraska! I quickly shed my thick jacket, and Lake and I made our way to our car rental. We got in and drove to our hotel, ready for a rest.

Question

Guys! I wrote a story for school...
Can anyone help or let me know opinions

The Perfect Murder
I squealed as I opened the box. Lake had gotten me the necklace he’d seen me eyeing at the jewelry store. It was a “just because” gift; he knew me so well! I was so happy, I knew– or, thought– I’d met the perfect guy.
	“Well, Amy? Do you like it?” He smiled at me, already reaching to do it up. 
	“I love it! Thank you so so much.” I looked up at him and smiled, receiving a kiss on my  nose. 
	Later in the day I was cooking dinner as he was out on a run. He forgot his phone on the counter beside the stove. It started to ring and after I quickly set down the egg in my hand, I picked it up. “Hello! I’m so sorry, Lake is out on a run, I can ask him to call you back if you’d like.”
	“Huh? Who’s Lake? Who are you –?” She did use quite strong language. 
	“I’m Lake’s girlfriend, Lake owns this phone.” I was so confused. I didn’t check to see who it was, so I’m not sure if it was a saved number or not. She was as confused as I was.
	“The owner of this phone is my fiance, Larry.” 
	“Can you repeat the phone number?”
	She repeated it perfectly, without hesitation. Her fiance? That wasn’t possible. It was mine and Lake’s 2 year anniversary next week. I had a trip planned out–a very expensive trip, for Mardi Gras. It was in February, on the 3rd, that was next month. 
~			~			~			~			~
	“Lake! Hurry up, we can’t miss our flight!” I was still going on the trip. He didn’t know I knew; he’d found out soon enough. 
	“I’m coming, I just can’t find my lucky socks.”
	“On your pillow.” I heard his footsteps as he quickly walked over to the bed, he yelled out a thanks. Finally, we were in the car on the way to the airport. We were going to the Bahamas, but I managed to convince him we should go to Gonzales, Texas. It has the highest crime rate there, so it would be perfect for my plan. 
	I sighed and leaned my head against the window. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, it was 4:12. We had 48 minutes until our flight, the adrenaline was starting to kick in. I yawned and stepped out of the car. “Okay! Let’s find airport security, then our gate.”
	We finally got settled in the plane. The ride was okay, only about 13 hours. When we got off the plane, the hot sun felt so different than in Nebraska! I quickly shed my thick jacket, and Lake and I made our way to our car rental. We got in and drove to our hotel, ready for a rest.

OnenOnlyy · Answer

I didn't have enough room to finish it.. the rest is on part two

emmamyersglazer · Answer

W story

JaceBrooks223 · Answer

its awesome good job

OnenOnlyy · Answer

but how can I make it better..?

JaceBrooks223 · Answer

idk make the dialogue more clear ig

OnenOnlyy · Answer

@jacebrooks223 wrote:

idk make the dialogue more clear ig

can u elaborate..?

JaceBrooks223 · Answer

not really English isnt really my thing, im more into sci and math

MAGABACK · Answer

gj!