Life changes sos (poem)

Right now, life is boring, no longer tame, life is getting more and more a burden. If I could go back to little me life would be just great. I’d be so joyful, smiling, laughing, singing and worshiping whenever a Jesus song comes on, asking mama and dad questions with curiosity with a sparkle in my eye… But now I’m just faking it to make it, only laughing and smiling around my “friends” most the time, trying to smile so they don’t ask what’s wrong or ask me if I’m ok, needing to have my eyebrows lifted a bit just so people don’t think I’m mad or sad, having mood swings, crying at night in agony, feeling like I’m drowning from time to time, hard to know my emotions, trying to hold my tears back with a lump in my throat, thinking to myself wondering why I get left out so much, no one understands me, not even myself, why do people tend to tell me to go away so much I don’t understand, even my own “friends” leave me out… wondering why I’m so judgmental towards the people I don’t even know, I don’t know a thing about them but I’ll judge… I hate that I do that… I hate that I’m such a mess up all the time… I never stop running my mouth.. I don’t understand why.. whenever someone asks me how’s life going I always say its going just great with a big smile.. its all fake.. I don’t know how to feel a lot of the times.. just always being confused why I’m like this.. I sometimes call out to God I feel he doesn’t hear me to well.. but he could also just be waiting for me to give up completely… I’m afraid I can’t give up just yet.. I was made for something right? I have a huge purpose… lots of Jesus followers have told me.. I’ve slowly drifted from God.. I want to go back but its hard knowing that my mama and dad are never there for me… but hey, at least I got my nana.. I might not have her for long.. I hope my big brother doesn’t leave me behind when he turns 18.. nana might not still be here and well I’ll just be all alone not knowing what to do.. scared, begging, pleading God to help me out of the water I’m drowning.. I’m getting to far down.. Is it going to be hard for him to get me out?... I hope not I’ll just be drowning and drowning for eternity…anyways life is hard right now.. and as I try not to cut… its so hard knowing ill never have a functioning family to be there for me..life got better but it keeps going back down.. day to day im asking God why.. why me to go through all this pain.. why did he choose me to even be here anyway..?

Question

Life changes sos (poem)

Right now, life is boring, no longer tame, life is getting more and more a burden. If I could go back to little me life would be just great. I’d be so joyful, smiling, laughing, singing and worshiping whenever a Jesus song comes on, asking mama and dad questions with curiosity with a sparkle in my eye… But now I’m just faking it to make it, only laughing and smiling around my “friends” most the time, trying to smile so they don’t ask what’s wrong or ask me if I’m ok, needing to have my eyebrows lifted a bit just so people don’t think I’m mad or sad, having mood swings, crying at night in agony, feeling like I’m drowning from time to time, hard to know my emotions, trying to hold my tears back with a lump in my throat, thinking to myself wondering why I get left out so much, no one understands me, not even myself, why do people tend to tell me to go away so much I don’t understand, even my own “friends” leave me out… wondering why I’m so judgmental towards the people I don’t even know, I don’t know a thing about them but I’ll judge… I hate that I do that… I hate that I’m such a mess up all the time… I never stop running my mouth.. I don’t understand why.. whenever someone asks me how’s life going I always say its going just great with a big smile.. its all fake.. I don’t know how to feel a lot of the times.. just always being confused why I’m like this.. I sometimes call out to God I feel he doesn’t hear me to well.. but he could also just be waiting for me to give up completely… I’m afraid I can’t give up just yet.. I was made for something right? I have a huge purpose… lots of Jesus followers have told me.. I’ve slowly drifted from God.. I want to go back but its hard knowing that my mama and dad are never there for me… but hey, at least I got my nana.. I might not have her for long.. I hope my big brother doesn’t leave me behind when he turns 18.. nana might not still be here and well I’ll just be all alone not knowing what to do.. scared, begging, pleading God to help me out of the water I’m drowning.. I’m getting to far down.. Is it going to be hard for him to get me out?... I hope not I’ll just be drowning and drowning for eternity…anyways life is hard right now.. and as I try not to cut… its so hard knowing ill never have a functioning family to be there for me..life got better but it keeps going back down.. day to day im asking God why.. why me to go through all this pain.. why did he choose me to even be here anyway..?

1st4r · Answer

wow this is so good. like the feelings in this is so deep

ARAAG · Answer

W poem

SunFlower01 · Answer

@1st4r wrote:

wow this is so good. like the feelings in this is so deep

tysm ^^ i really appreciate this ^^ I've been working on it for a long ahh time

SunFlower01 · Answer

@araag wrote:

W poem

tysm

ARAAG · Answer

yea no problemo

SunFlower01 · Answer

@araag wrote:

yea no problemo

:)

ARAAG · Answer

:)

1st4r · Answer

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

wow this is so good. like the feelings in this is so deep

tysm ^^ i really appreciate this ^^ I've been working on it for a long ahh time

its sooo good! and yh I could tell this took some time but its worth it cause this a complete W. keep it up !

SunFlower01 · Answer

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

wow this is so good. like the feelings in this is so deep

tysm ^^ i really appreciate this ^^ I've been working on it for a long ahh time

its sooo good! and yh I could tell this took some time but its worth it cause this a complete W. keep it up !

ofccc Ima keep adding 2 it i been working on it since last semester in school

1st4r · Answer

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

wow this is so good. like the feelings in this is so deep

tysm ^^ i really appreciate this ^^ I've been working on it for a long ahh time

its sooo good! and yh I could tell this took some time but its worth it cause this a complete W. keep it up !

ofccc Ima keep adding 2 it i been working on it since last semester in school

oh woww long time lol. this has to be on the of best poems I've read on here

SunFlower01 · Answer

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

wow this is so good. like the feelings in this is so deep

tysm ^^ i really appreciate this ^^ I've been working on it for a long ahh time

its sooo good! and yh I could tell this took some time but its worth it cause this a complete W. keep it up !

ofccc Ima keep adding 2 it i been working on it since last semester in school

oh woww long time lol. this has to be on the of best poems I've read on here

really?

1st4r · Answer

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

wow this is so good. like the feelings in this is so deep

tysm ^^ i really appreciate this ^^ I've been working on it for a long ahh time

its sooo good! and yh I could tell this took some time but its worth it cause this a complete W. keep it up !

ofccc Ima keep adding 2 it i been working on it since last semester in school

oh woww long time lol. this has to be on the of best poems I've read on here

really?

yeah honestlyyy. this has a lot of deep feeling

SunFlower01 · Answer

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

wow this is so good. like the feelings in this is so deep

tysm ^^ i really appreciate this ^^ I've been working on it for a long ahh time

its sooo good! and yh I could tell this took some time but its worth it cause this a complete W. keep it up !

ofccc Ima keep adding 2 it i been working on it since last semester in school

oh woww long time lol. this has to be on the of best poems I've read on here

really?

yeah honestlyyy. this has a lot of deep feeling

yea that part i would understand bc its all real

1st4r · Answer

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

ohh well gl w everythingg. God has a plan

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@1st4r wrote:

wow this is so good. like the feelings in this is so deep

tysm ^^ i really appreciate this ^^ I've been working on it for a long ahh time

its sooo good! and yh I could tell this took some time but its worth it cause this a complete W. keep it up !

ofccc Ima keep adding 2 it i been working on it since last semester in school

oh woww long time lol. this has to be on the of best poems I've read on here

really?

yeah honestlyyy. this has a lot of deep feeling

yea that part i would understand bc its all real

VAN1LLA · Answer

Periodtt u ate dat 🫶🏼😍

SunFlower01 · Answer

@van1lla wrote:

Periodtt u ate dat 🫶🏼😍

thankkssss

friendly · Answer

good poem

marienne · Answer

w poem i like

SunFlower01 · Answer

@marienne wrote:

w poem i like

tysm

SunFlower01 · Answer

@friendly wrote:

good poem

thanks

JellyBeanKing · Answer

Your poem is really powerful and so good i like it a lot :)

SunFlower01 · Answer

@jellybeanking wrote:

Your poem is really powerful and so good i like it a lot :)

thanks :>

JellyBeanKing · Answer

@sunflower01 wrote:

@jellybeanking wrote:

Your poem is really powerful and so good i like it a lot :)

thanks :>

yw :3

SunFlower01 · Answer

@jellybeanking wrote:

@sunflower01 wrote:

@jellybeanking wrote:

Your poem is really powerful and so good i like it a lot :)

thanks :>

yw :3

^^

Bounty · Answer

deep I'm really sorry I hope things get better don't give up from a writer to another gj w the feelings in this

marienne · Answer

good bro

SunFlower01 · Answer

@marienne wrote:

good bro

thx

SunFlower01 · Answer

@bounty wrote:

deep I'm really sorry I hope things get better don't give up from a writer to another gj w the feelings in this

Thank you so much, you don't realize how much i really and truly do appreciate what you have just told me^^.

ihy · Answer

Nice Job

Ravenous · Answer

Nice

SunFlower01 · Answer

@ravenous wrote:

Nice

thx

SunFlower01 · Answer

@ihy wrote:

Nice Job

tysm

cherryblossom999 · Answer

amen.

V4MPZSKII · Answer

w

SunFlower01 · Answer

@cherryblossom999 wrote:

amen.

...huh

SunFlower01 · Answer

@v4mpzskii wrote:

w

thx

Gdub08 · Answer

Damn this pretty good.

grimreaper124 · Answer

w

SunFlower01 · Answer

@gdub08 wrote:

Damn this pretty good.

its all real so like

YoursTruly1234 · Answer

this is nice 10/10

SunFlower01 · Answer

@yourstruly1234 wrote:

this is nice 10/10

thanks

YoursTruly1234 · Answer

@sunflower01 wrote:

@yourstruly1234 wrote:

this is nice 10/10

thanks

no problem