Question

a little bit on how I feel

I've been kind of board for a while and I feel like a very horrible friend to the friend group I am a part of, I don't know why but it keeps coming back to me. I've been seeing myself getting more rude towards the people I talk to on a daily, then again I don't do it on purpose. I have been struggling with being a better person for my friends. Not my family. I want to be seen as a better person..someone who matters when it comes to our fg (friend group) I've been horribly rude and I feel like distancing myself from them will make me a better person, but then again it wont. My friends are ppl I love, not just care about or like, I base my life on my friends and I look up too them like family because I feel like I don't have my own family I call 'home'.....

I will delete this soon bc its just horrible.