Question

One day I became the coal to his emotions

I used to look at the waves from the ocean

One day I became the sorrow to the feelings


I gave empathy to my beginnings


One day I called for a scream


But who would have heard me breathe


One day I say just one day it will all fall back to my hands

Answer 1

honestly this one just kinda left me confused and I feel like it doesn't flow very well... Idk, I just feel like its missing something, a little extra detail ya know?

Answer 2

honestly I'm the exact same way... im a waste of talent... I'm really good at drawing but I'm always to lazy to do it so I virtually never draw. just doodle when I'm bored. sometimes you just gotta commit, then you'll end up with something beautiful.

Answer 3

of course.

Answer 4

i think there is some room for improvement, but it has a good background for a poem :)

Answer 5

keep it up :)

Answer 6

WWW

Answer 7

I see what u were tryna convey here, buh its a lil confusing. its a good start tho, maybe add more to it, a few more sentences mght make dis more understandable.

Answer 8

okay thx u

Answer 9

yeah i agree, you could definitely make it better and make it more sense. its a great start like panda said.🙏

Answer 10

ahhhh thxs everyone for the advice ill do better