Question

Static in my skull...

I don’t sleep
I negotiate with the ceiling.
3 a.m. conversations
with thoughts that don’t want peace,
only attention.
My mind’s a courtroom,
every mistake takes the stand,
every regret is the prosecutor,
and I’m guilty before I speak.
They say time heals,
but time just taught my pain
how to hide better.
Now it wears my face,
talks in my voice,
and calls itself truth.
I learned how to laugh on cue,
how to say “I’m good”
like it’s a spell that keeps questions away.
But silence is loud
when you’re drowning internally
and nobody hears the water.
I replay moments like crime scenes,
freeze-frame every word I said wrong.
I don’t remember compliments
only the pauses after them,
only the looks that felt like verdicts.
Fear doesn’t knock anymore.
It lives here.
Pays rent.
Rearranges the furniture in my chest
until nothing feels familiar.
I build walls out of “I’m fine,”
stack bricks of sarcasm and distance.
Funny how people call it confidence
when it’s really just survival
with better posture.
I’m tired of fighting myself
in rooms no one else can see.
Tired of being my own villain
and my own rescue mission.
But hear this
I’m still breathing through the static.
Still standing in the pressure.
Still here when quitting
would’ve been easier than hope.
I don’t need fixing.
I need space to be honest
without being told to “lighten up.”
Some of us carry hurricanes
and still show up anyway.
So yeah
my mind’s loud,
my past is heavy,
and my doubts talk reckless.
But I’m learning this
darkness doesn’t mean defeated.
Broken doesn’t mean done.
I’m not the voice in my head
I’m the one still talking back.

Answer 1

hmmm this is like self awareness .. good