Question

Wrote a play for theater. first time ever writing a play. looking for feedback and hype!

little blurb so you don't have to read the whole thing if you don't want to (I'd like feedback from people who read the whole thing.)

Four immortal beings. One catastrophic mistake. Everything to lose.

When the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse miss their deadline—and their chance to end the world—they face judgment from the very Forces that created them.

A darkly comedic exploration of duty, redemption, and what it means to choose each other when everything else is stripped away. We're Not Ready asks: What happens when the architects of humanity's inner workings from behind the scenes make mistakes?

Title: We're Not Ready

Answer 1

Here's the actual script:

(The stage is set as a crowded, busy airport. On lights up, DAIN, CERES and PAX are standing in a semicircle downstage as they wait for their luggage.)

CERES: Does anyone have Amadi’s number? I’d call them, but all I have is their work number. And, well, you know-It’s a little unprof-

DAIN: Cere, I’m trying to think. Shut your mouth.

CERES (grabbing her luggage, pulling out a cook book to pout into.): Fine.

DAIN (turning to Pax. They run a hand through their hair.): where could they be, Pax? They should’ve realized. We should’ve sent someone-Mort would’ve been there and back before they needed to board the plane-

(PAX grabs DAIN’s shoulders, forcing them to stop pacing-And just hugs them. CERES glances at the two, chewing on her lip.)

CERES: Love you, Pax, bud-But a hug isn’t gonna fix this, we have made the biggest, most CATASTROPHIC mistake that we could’ve ever made.

(PAX glares at CERES and releases DAIN from the hug. PAX grabs two luggage carts-His own and DAIN’s belongings.)

DAIN: HR is gonna kill us, man. I-We’re so screwed.

(DAIN digs in their pocket, fishing out their phone.)

DAIN (groaning): The horses’ plane is gonna be late. And for thE LOVE OF EVERYTHING, WHERE IS AMADI?!

(PAX helps DAIN calm down as CERES stands from her chair, trying to look at the STAGE LEFT wing.)


CERES: Hey! H-HEY! DAIN! LOOK!

(CERES points at the STAGE LEFT wing as AMADI ENTERS.They have gone overboard with trying to keep germs away with gloves and a mask, tucking their pant legs into their shoes-You get the idea. DAIN, PAX and CERES cross to meet AMADI CENTER STAGE)

DAIN: WHERE WERE YOU?!

AMADI: Well, it’s nice to see you all-It’s been a long while, huh? What was it, 19-Oh, right, you want to know what caused my delay, my apologies-I went to the airport ahead of time to check the cleanliness of the planes, and-well, they’re just so disgusting, so I figured I’d drive here instead-

(DAIN fumes and raises their fist to swing. PAX holds their arm back, shaking his head. DAIN takes a moment to calm themselves before PAX releases them. DAIN grabs AMADI’s shoulders.)

DAIN: Oh, okay. That makes sense. You figured you’d just drive here? A-And you said you went ahead of time? My apologies. I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE YOU’D GET A SENSE OF URGENCY BECAUSE, I DUNNO, WE ARE DAYS LATE TO START THE APOCALYPSE?!


(DAIN grabs AMADI’s mask and tears it off of their face. DAIN breathes heavily before turning to the rest of the group.)

DAIN: As soon as the horses land, we’re grabbing them and leaving for HR, am I understood?

CERES: We don’t need the horses.

(DAIN, AMADI and PAX all respond with shock. CERES puts her hands up.)

CERES: Woah, woah! Not saying we don’t love or appreciate them, but they’ll get stressed when they see that we are stressed. We’ve survived and worked just fine without them. Remember The Black Death? Fall of Rome? Irish Famine? We didn’t need them then.

(DAIN rubs at their legs. PAX rubs at his back.)

DAIN: You didn’t. Pax and I did-We still have aches…But..Fine. You’re right. No-No, We-

(PAX puts his hand on DAIN’s shoulder. He steps forward-Now DOWN CENTER STAGE. Spotlight required.)

PAX: Look. We’re late. HR is gonna chew us out, we’ll be the jokes of the millennium-But who cares? We’ve watched plagues tear through humanity, We’ve watched empires fall, and we’ve been the cause of all of that. Sure. We were late for this, but HR can’t deny us anything that we’ve already done. WE haven’t missed any extinction events until today. As long as we have each other, whatever HR decides is fine. We’re fired? So what? Because we are The Horsemen.

(PAX turns to DAIN, gesturing at them. Spotlight also required.)

PAX: Dain, You are Death. An unstoppable, inevitable, inescapable fate.

(PAX turns to CERES. DAIN’s spotlight either turns off or moves to CERES)

PAX: The horsemen of Famine. You have figured out how to make food that tastes real and is almost completely plastic. You’re killing humanity slowly and they thank you for it!

(PAX turns to AMADI. The spotlight either turns off or moves to AMADI.)

PAX: Amadi! You are Plague. The only one out of any of us who constantly reinvents a way to tear at the hearts of the humans. The only one who actually pays attention to anything HR says. It’s admirable, really.

(PAX addresses all three now. Spotlight expands into lighting that covers all onstage characters.)

PAX: Alright. Let’s remind HR why humanity fears the Horsemen. Let’s squeeze them from both sides. Cere, Am, you’ve got Hell. Dain and I will go Heaven. Move out.

(PAX and DAIN EXIT downstage right, CERES and AMADI EXIT downstage left. Fade to black as they all exit.)

----

(The stage is split in half-All the way down center stage there is a gate decorated differently on both sides. On the stage right side of it, the gate is a polished, neatly kept iron with complex, beautiful architectural design. On the stage left side, it is busted and bent and dented. It’s made of the same iron but it has been scratched and handled so much that it’s not shiny anymore, and the color has started to fade and chip off or rust in some areas.)

(Stage right is decorated to resemble a bright, organized office building. There are cubicles, desks and other such furniture-Nobody is at them, they are just in the space to make it feel alive. Stage left is dark, dirty and has a sort of thickness to its atmosphere. It has trash and junk littered everywhere. There are areas for people to sit, but the occupants are trashbags and other junk stacked together to look like people.)

(On lights up, PAX and DAIN are downstage right. Illuminated with a near blinding spotlight. The office behind them is also illuminated, but with a softer light-It keeps the world alive but doesn’t take attention away from PAX and DAIN. AMADI and CERES are downstage left. They are illuminated with a softer, almost blue-toned spotlight. Extra points if it flickers. The world behind them is also given light, but just barely so.)

VOICES OFF STAGE: What happened? Why haven’t you done it yet? Why were you late?

(THE HORSEMEN all have moments of nerves-But seeing the other standing with them gives them hope.)

ALL: We’re Not Ready.

(Voices off stage left sneer, taunt and demean AMADI and CERES. The voices off stage right are speaking more to each other then they are PAX and DAIN.)

Stage Left (from off stage): Not ready? Pathetic. Have you gone soft? Why not? We knew you weren’t good enough.

Stage Right (from off stage): They weren’t ready? They’ve been preparing for centuries. Is this true? How could they miss it?

(THE HORSEMEN each have unique reactions to their respective voices. PAX remains militaristic and stiff, like a soldier speaking to their commander. He shows no emotions, not even glancing at DAIN. DAIN fidgets, tapping their foot, wringing their hands-They stay engaged even as they fidget.)

(AMADI flinches at every voice, constantly swinging their head around to stay aware of their surroundings. They keep their hands and feet as close as they can manage, keeping an extra eye on the filth. CERES shifts on her feet, crossing her arms. She opens her mouth like she’s going to speak, but closes it multiple times.)

VOICES OFF STAGE: The Forces have come to a decision. For failing to follow The Plan in a timely order with no real obstacles, the horsemen are henceforth revoked of their titles and will be charged, punished and removed from The Plan.

(There is one main voice on stage right. The others go silent. The voices off of stage left whisper indistinctly.)

MAIN VOICE (off stage.): War. Approach the veil.

(PAX crosses to center stage and stands in front of the gate. AMADI, DAIN and CERES all look at him. A spotlight hits PAX from either side.)

MAIN VOICE (off stage): Death. Approach the veil.


(DAIN crosses and stands beside PAX. They reach for PAX’s hand and he lets them take it. PAX breaks his stance and worries more about comforting DAIN.)

MAIN VOICE (off stage): Famine. Approach the veil.

(CERES crosses and stands on PAX’s other side. She also clings to PAX for comfort, hiding her face in his shoulder.)

MAIN VOICE (off stage): Plague. Approach the veil.

(AMADI crosses and stands beside CERES. They don’t seem to care about the germs anymore. They hook their arm around CERES’s.)

MAIN VOICE (off stage): You have been charged with the highest crimes against The Forces; Disobeying orders, intervention of The Forces and failure to proceed with The Plan. What do you plead?

(THE HORSEMEN get closer together. They all remain silent, but they know there’s nothing to do. All voices off stage go completely silent.)

THE HORSEMEN: Guilty to all counts.

MAIN VOICE (off stage): Very well. The Forces have found this to be so. Face judgement now, and hear your sentences. On the count of failure to proceed; You have been revoked of your titles. Henceforth, no such thing as The Horsemen exists. On the count of disobeying orders; You have been stripped of any and all extraordinary abilities or powers.

MAIN VOICE (off stage): Finally, the count of intervention of The Forces. A most unfathomable crime-We must enforce a discipline that has never been invoked in the entirety of existence. We sentence you to complete erasure. Your access to The After will be removed, as will all memories of it and your existence as something more than mortal. You will awake in The Creation with false memories, a new identity and all documentation required by the mortals. Please make your peace.

(THE HORSEMEN all say their goodbyes, but it’s all apologies for forgetting each other and promises they will miss and love them even if they won’t remember.)

MAIN VOICE (off stage): …An amendment has been made. You will keep your recollections of each other and your love. You will live in a home together, and may continue as mortals together. The Forces are a necessary evil, but not cruel. Are you ready?


(THE HORSEMEN gather together, holding hands.)

THE HORSMEN: We’re ready.


MAIN VOICE (off stage): Then we will proceed. Blessed be your journey, and blessed be the love that binds you still. Peace with you and yours. Let no power come between you.

[ BLACK OUT, CLEAR STAGE, BOWS. ]

Answer 2

I'D PLAY IN THIS, ITS SO PEAK

Answer 3

lwk fire

Answer 4

wait this is actually so fire and peak