Question

Can someone proofread my writing?

Answer 1

Have you ever wondered what the world would be like in the future? According to events taking place now in the world, our future will change drastically. In 50 years, our society, environment, and schools will be greatly affected.

Our society will change in 50 years. The United States will be overpopulated because teenage pregnancy is on the rise. Also, drug and alcohol use will increase due to all the problems facing the world today, such as lack of jobs, closure of companies, and the economy. Secondly, our environment will be affected. Global warming will be a major problem facing our environment. Global warming will be the blame for severe droughts, hurricanes, and floods. Lastly, schools will be affected because of how our society and environment have changed. Due to the increase of drug and alcohol use, more students will not graduate from high school; in turn students will not have the knowledge to help improve some of the problems facing us.

As a result of overpopulation, alcohol and drug use, global warming, and high school dropouts, this is how the society, environment, and schools will change in 50 years. Most importantly, our future will depend on events that are taking place now. What will your choices be?

Answer 2

You clearly made your point with the facts but the sentences themselves seem pretty choppy. Here's a version that has better flow and keeps to your skill

Have you ever wondered what the world would be like in the future? Will we finally get rid of world hunger and poverty or have we reached the limit of human development? According to recent events taking all over the world, our future doesn’t look so good.

In 50 years, society, environment, and schools will have drastically changed. The United States will be overpopulated because the rate of teenage pregnancy is on the rise. Drug and alcohol abuse will also increase due to the problems such as lack of jobs, closure of companies, and the economy. For our environment, Global Warming is one of the biggest problems that we are facing. Global warming will be the cause for severe droughts, hurricanes, and floods. Lastly, schools will be affected because of how our society and environment have changed. Because of increase in drug and alcohol use, more students will not graduate from high school; in turn students will not have the knowledge to help improve some of the problems facing us.

As a result of overpopulation, alcohol and drug use, global warming, and high school dropouts, this is how the society, environment, and schools will change in 50 years. Most importantly, our future will depend on events that are taking place now. What will your choices be?

Answer 3

I'm not going to re-write your paper for you, because you would lose your own voice in it if I did, but I do have some feedback. Your main idea is solid, and your examples support it well, but you need to justify them a bit more. Instead of stating an example in a single sentence and moving on, state it and explain it. Additionally, try strengthening your transitions. Right now, everything is fairly choppy, but stronger transitions (and more explanation) would help.

Answer 4

One: Don't start a piece of writing with a question.

I can easily say "NOPE." and just waltz on out of a possible good read.

Answer 5

>Secondly

RAGE INFINITY SUNS.

Just keep it at "Second" or "First". Adding a 'ly' to it is ...mindnumbing.

Answer 6

Writing seems kind of formulaic. Like painting with numbers.

Answer 7

"Due to the increase of drug and alcohol use, more students will not graduate from high school"

YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT.

Answer 8

>Don't start a piece of writing with a question.
=>why can't it start with a question?
> Adding a 'ly' to it is ...mindnumbing
=> presonally, i think 'xx'ly is okay. By the way, there's no firstly while secondly appeared.

I think it would be better if you can discuss one aspect in one paragraph. Besides, more sentence patterns can be used in your writing. But honestly, I am not good at writing..

Answer 9

Callisto: Both of the things you mention (not starting with a question, not using number-ly) are about formal writing conventions. You don't do that in formal writing for the same reason you don't speak in the first person, or use contractions. It's fine to do in casual or other types of prose since it's just a style element, but in formal writing, most teachers will appreciate keeping to a higher level of formality.

Answer 10

Oh thanks! That's what my teacher hasn't told us..