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Writing 11 Online
OpenStudy (anonymous):

Hi, I am trying to get a pay raise, and it was denied twice. I am now sending an email to a higher-up because I honestly feel I deserve one. Here is the email I want to send. Please tell me if it sounds ok, of if you think it needs to be changed. Thanks a bunch! Hi, I am trying to get a pay raise, and it was denied twice. I am now sending an email to a higher-up because I honestly feel I deserve one. Here is the email I want to send. Please tell me if it sounds ok, of if you think it needs to be changed. Thanks a bunch! @Writing

OpenStudy (anonymous):

Always start professional letters with a formal salutation. If you know him, "Dear Marc," but all things considered, it should be "Dear Mr. Soandso"

OpenStudy (anonymous):

Delete this. It's redundant and you don't want to waste his time: "Please correct me if I should be emailing someone else." You've apologized, that enough. It should be "denied me a pay raise in early October." Delete this: "over a year and a half ago." He knows how a calendar works. Should be "deserve another." Don't need the word "one."

OpenStudy (anonymous):

"I have determined that " should be "it seems to be that CHS is the only thing that matters to WIS management" "...does not seem to factor, only production matters." Delete this: "He did not consider anything but CPH." Obviously, you already said that. "I rarely call off, I show..." "...something. If I cannot..." "less" incentive, not "no" incentive. "I look forward to your reply." Good luck, Peeps.

OpenStudy (anonymous):

Thank you so much! I hope this works. :)

OpenStudy (anonymous):

Well one thing I got a laugh if I learn nothing

OpenStudy (anonymous):

I have'nt started class yet, but I'm looking for study groups to get help when I need it. Thanks for your time.

OpenStudy (anonymous):

And what's so funny about me not getting a raise??

OpenStudy (anonymous):

I'm sorry that's not funny. The video I watched on youtube. I'm so sorry I did'nt explaine my self better. I did'nt mean to hurt your feelings or get you mad.

OpenStudy (anonymous):

No, I'm not mad. I just didn't want my boss to laugh when he read this. You had me a little worried, is all. :)

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