Hi, I am trying to get a pay raise, and it was denied twice. I am now sending an email to a higher-up because I honestly feel I deserve one. Here is the email I want to send. Please tell me if it sounds ok, of if you think it needs to be changed. Thanks a bunch!
Hi, I am trying to get a pay raise, and it was denied twice. I am now sending an email to a higher-up because I honestly feel I deserve one. Here is the email I want to send. Please tell me if it sounds ok, of if you think it needs to be changed. Thanks a bunch!
@Writing

Question

Hi, I am trying to get a pay raise, and it was denied twice.  I am now sending an email to a higher-up because I honestly feel I deserve one.  Here is the email I want to send.  Please tell me if it sounds ok, of if you think it needs to be changed.  Thanks a bunch!
 Hi, I am trying to get a pay raise, and it was denied twice.  I am now sending an email to a higher-up because I honestly feel I deserve one.  Here is the email I want to send.  Please tell me if it sounds ok, of if you think it needs to be changed.  Thanks a bunch!
 @Writing

anonymous · Answer

Always start professional letters with a formal salutation. If you know him, "Dear Marc," but all things considered, it should be "Dear Mr. Soandso"

anonymous · Answer

Delete this. It's redundant and you don't want to waste his time: "Please correct me if I should be emailing someone else." You've apologized, that enough. It should be "denied me a pay raise in early October." Delete this: "over a year and a half ago." He knows how a calendar works. Should be "deserve another." Don't need the word "one."

anonymous · Answer

"I have determined that " should be "it seems to be that CHS is the only thing that matters to WIS management" "...does not seem to factor, only production matters." Delete this: "He did not consider anything but CPH." Obviously, you already said that. "I rarely call off, I show..." "...something. If I cannot..." "less" incentive, not "no" incentive. "I look forward to your reply."  Good luck, Peeps.

anonymous · Answer

Thank you so much!  I hope this works.  :)

anonymous · Answer

Well one thing I got a laugh if I learn nothing

anonymous · Answer

I have'nt started class yet, but I'm looking for study groups to get help when I need it. Thanks for your time.

anonymous · Answer

And what's so funny about me not getting a raise??

anonymous · Answer

I'm sorry that's not funny. The video I watched on youtube. I'm so sorry I did'nt explaine  my self better. I did'nt mean to hurt your feelings or get you mad.

anonymous · Answer

No, I'm not mad.  I just didn't want my boss to laugh when he read this.  You had me a little worried, is all.  :)