Question

What do you think of this poem???

LOST :/

Life is the only thing people have anymore.
I’m scared to live anymore because of you.
I don’t want you in my life! I hate you!
You led me down the wrong road and got my in trouble
My life is hell now because of you and I rather live there then here.
I’m lost and I don’t want to be found.
I lost the best thing I ever had because I was scared.
I’m scared to move around and try to find love anymore.
My mind is racing like the speed of light and I can’t think of how to speak
I don’t want to be on earth anymore because you ripped my heart ou

Answer 1

Dont allow nobody drives away your feelings. The thoughts are yours and just you can shift them.

Answer 2

thanks :)

Answer 3

You're telling us the words, now make us feel the feelings. More sensory words, more images. YOU feel it. Make US feel it. Lead us down that road with you, through the pain and the fear and the outrage.

Answer 4

thanks

Answer 5

Redwood Girl is right. You're using free verse here, so you are really unrestricted in the wording that you choose. Paint the picture. Don't tell us, show us. For example, instead of:

"I’m scared to live anymore because of you."

you could use something like:

You've pinned my life down with daggers of fear that tear at my heart.

Well something like that . . . ;)

Answer 6

i like that :) thanks :)