Hi,

I have an essay that I've written, and I was wondering if someone could look over my essay and tell me what I should fix or could improve upon. In case you're interested, this essay is about the theme of friendship, from "The Great Gatsby." This is a rough draft, so I really would appreciate the help in spicing it up! Thanks so much! :)

Question

Hi,

I have an essay that I've written, and I was wondering if someone could look over my essay and tell me what I should fix or could improve upon.  In case you're interested, this essay is about the theme of friendship, from "The Great Gatsby."  This is a rough draft, so I really would appreciate the help in spicing it up!  Thanks so much! :)

anonymous · Answer

attachment

anonymous · Answer

please post a .doc or .docx next time around. I am reading a lot of summary and not enough arguments. I think that the paper needs more work with creating a thesis statment. The paper already has a topic, the theme of friendship. The next step is to create an argument based off of that topic. Think of answering this question: I am writing about the theme of friendship in the Great Gasby, and I am arguing that friendships are false and shallow because BLANK. Let me think of a false thesis statement related to your topic. Do not use this. Friendships do not exist within The Great Gasby because alcohol, absent mindedness, and money break these relationships. Here are some real big ideas. You can break these down by yourself? Class, Success, Race?

anonymous · Answer

Hi, boblankin!,

Thanks so much for going over my paper in detail!  I think your corrections were very helpful, and they're much appreciated.  I'm starting to see that I'm a little too vague, when stating my beliefs/ideas.  I'll try to be more specific.  Thanks again! :)