Question

i need someone to go over my essay

Answer 1

willing. post it and i will

Answer 2

Extending school hours for elementary school in Chicago can cause children in school tiredness, not enough time spent in after-school activities and homework.



Children in school tend to get very tired during school hours due to long hours of learning. For example, children who wake up early in the morning and stay longer hours after school can lead them to become exhausted and tired by the end of the day. Children will eventually become discouraged to go to school because of the long hours they dread through school.



Not having enough time spent in after school activities such as sports and other psychical activities can make a child inactive in their life. This can affect a child’s learning abilities. For instance, a child who isn’t involved in sports after school can cause them to become lazy and not energized throughout their school time. Therefore, spending a good amount of hours in school and afterschool activities will help improve their learning abilities.



Spending longer hours in school can prevent a child from having enough time to do their homework. When children spend less time doing homework, it’ll keep them from reviewing all the previous learning for the next day. Reviewing and doing their homework can help a child to be better prepared for the next day’s lesson.



Extending school hours can affect a child’s learning in so many ways. As a result, extending school hours can disturb a child’s ability to learn and become more educated.

Answer 3

okay i'll let you know tomorrow of any mistakes. when is it due?

Answer 4

Okay, a few grammar corrections but other than that, it's very good. The first sentence i would consider revising would be: "For example, children who wake up early in the morning and stay longer hours after school can lead them to become exhausted..."

The statement could either be more of a fact, as in "Waking up early in the morning and staying a few hours after school can lead children to become exhausted", or it needs to be revised a little to say something long the lines of "Children who wake up early in the morning and stay long hours after school can become exhausted due to long hours of learning."

This is the only mistake I can find. It is also found in your third paragraph as follows, "For instance, a child who isn’t involved in sports after school can cause them to become lazy and not energized throughout their school time".

This is very easily remedied, and a marvelous essay. Great job. I hope this helped.