Question

Any ideas to add to this monologue?

I'm doing a monologue in theater class and it has to be two minutes. Personally, what I currently have is too short. Any suggestions of what to include? Don't be afraid about adding inappropriate details..

Dear Mrs. Claus... Ever since I caught you in bed with the Easter Bunny, my life has become utterly meaningless. Without you, the North Pole truly is the loneliest place in the world. Without you by my side, there has been no one to keep me on my diet. I've gorged upon cookies and milk. I even stole Rudolph's carrots. I've gobbled up all the gingerbr

Answer 1

gobbled up all the gingerbread men that live here. To the locals.... I've become a cannibal. I've gotten so big, the reindeer have developed back problems. Thanks to me, the sled now exceeds its maximum capacity. I don't think I'll be able to clear the Rockies this Christmas Eve.


And I can't stop drinking. I've been going to Eggnog Anonymous meetings, but they just aren't helping. I’ve remained in what appears to be a stage of eternal addiction. And don’t even get me started on the elves? Kids these days, they’re not as grateful as they used to. They don’t want a doll or a sweater anymore, no. I’ve already electrocuted four damn elves trying replicate that damn iPhone. FOUR ELVES! So, as you can tell, without you, my life is ho-ho-horrible. Please come back to me. I don't care if you're nice…… or naught. There's no other woman I’d rather have be under my mistletoe. Please come home.

Answer 2

Very interesting topic :) add something about chimneys

Answer 3

I like it good writing @BagelsAreIcelandic

Answer 4

nice story, now i want it to be christmas