Question

Can you make below short paragraph sound more complex and use more sophisticated vocabularies

When I was asked about my childhood memories, I immediately began to reminiscence about the good times I had with my friend Jx. My friend preferred to be called Jx and it in fact illustrates his simplicity of nature and his weird attitude. The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear about my flamboyant and peculiar mate Jx, is hot chocolate.. I truly understand that it may sound irrational to think of your closest friend ,whom I have spent days and night playing video games with , as hot cho

Answer 1

as hot chocolate but there is certainly a story behind that… When I was only six years old or maybe seven, I used to hike a steep hill with him to get a cup of hot chocolate from the nearest seven- eleven close to our home,when we didn’t even have enough money to buy one.

Answer 2

You're actually a good writer! :) The main thing you need to avoid is wordiness. You have a wonderfully impressive vocabulary, but in a personal piece like this, aim for genuineness, not impressiveness, which would suit a more formal analysis. Remember that good writers revise constantly, so "cut the dead wood" that takes away from your thoughts, which are compelling > I want to read more! I've simplified your original a bit to show you what I mean:

Childhood memories immediately bring to mind the good times I had with my friend Jx. His preference to be called Jx perfectly suited his simplicity of nature and weird attitude. <Give examples to illustate these characteristics.>

Strangely, whenever I think about my flamboyant and peculiar mate Jx, the first thing I think of is hot chocolate. It may sound irrational to think of your closest friend, with whom I mostly spent days and night playing video games, as hot chocolate, but there is a story behind that. When we were only six or seven years old, we used to hike a steep hill to get a cup of hot chocolate from the 7-Eleven located near both our homes - and we didn’t even have enough money to buy one. <Were you buying one or two cups? If two, change this sentence to reflect that.>

Answer 3

A complex paragraph to write is not the same thing as a complex paragraph to read. When writing, aim for simplicity. It will be very hard to write, but easy to read. If the reader can understand you well, you have achieved your goal.