Need Opinions: Please
Need opinions on my poem
Stanza 1: It was pouring rain, but there I stood Crying, Laughing, Sobbing, Chuckling Yes, I was new in their neighborhood I tried and tried but it didn’t work, at least I understood They said it couldn’t be done but I was doing something
Stanza 2: The chances they gave me wasn’t fair They threw me right over the edge, Expecting that I would know what to do in mid air As I was falling they told me that was the fare, But how was I to know that there was a pledge
Stanza 3: Suddenly the wind began to stir. It carried me further and further away Now, as I fell, everything became a blur And I, myself, was now an amateur Now that I could do this I have new rules to obey
Stanza 4: A wise man always said that it cannot be But who is to define the word wise It was pouring rain, but there I stood with glee With all the possibilities And that man that told me no, I despise
thats it
You wrote that? Impressive
I guess the only thing missing is a title
Oh the title... It is Triumph... I forgot to put it on:D lol I have a WattPad that it is on too:D
Mind explaining exactly what is going on in the poem?
I didn't see a way to interpret what is really happening
You're supposed to give clues as to what is really going on.
Some one is finding their way through the world... it is like a person that is confused on where to go in life but the "voice" in his head tell him that.. he needs to continue on. But there is another voice in his head telling him to give up and the wind that stirred is him making up his mind to go the right way in life:D
POEM IS ABOVE AT THE TOP^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm not a poem tutor. So I really cannot be of much help. However, I do believe your poem would be much better if what you were describing was a particular event that the person was participating in as a new citizen in a new community and was being observed by many people and was feeling the weight on his/her shoulders to prove him/herself to everyone that he/she is a hard worker.
Ok thanks for your opinion
You could still speak metaphorically with your poem and give hints as to what event the person is participating in. You could even use some event in history as the "stage".
Maybe ill write another poem with that type of format:D
Good luck with it :D
Ok thanks:D
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