Question

This is my introduction to my persusaive paragraph

How is it

If you can please grade it from a 10th grade level

Answer 1

When it comes to life support, it may seem as if every patient can be kept on it until they get better, but what if the chances are very rare, should they still be kept on life support? Life Support was originally intended to help the body perform functions when they are unable to operate to keep the being alive until further treatment is available or the natural healing begins. Often the general public is mislead when the availability of this method grows because now millions of dying patients, whom only miracles can save are kept on life support. A dying person should not be kept on life support because it does not prove to be ethical, and can lead to harmful side-effects if misused and it is best to take a dying being out of their misery rather than forcing them to stay alive.

Answer 2

looks fine, I just wrote a paper with the opposite view.

Answer 3

but im a utilitarian:)

Answer 4

who are you using for your arguments?

Answer 5

i suggest James Rachels, and Philippa Foot

Answer 6

wow I tought you were just asking me because ...well I dont know why, I just noticed im in the writing area. I think my cat jumped on my keybpard

Answer 7

I think it is very well written and very insightful. You may want to talk about the opposite view, just for contrast. I liked it very mch, and I completely agree with you.

Answer 8

its just the intro:) He has not said anything yet:)

Answer 9

@Bambi Exactly. @waheguru See I told you.

Answer 10

too lengthy for an introduction and you missed providing the purpose

Answer 11

You need to specify what the "chances are" I re-read the part to understand. You mean the chances of living? Also, this needs revision: Often the general public is mislead when the availability of this method grows(.) Because millions of dying patients are kept on life support ... ( add the circumstances or reasons that lead you to believe 'only" miracles can save patients)... which only miracles can save. I strongly suggest you work on clearing your points or ideas that form your body paragraph. It sounds awesome, so keep up the good work! :)

Answer 12

It's not lengthy in my opinion.

Answer 13

You only have 2 key points: ethics and side effects. You need at least one more key point. How about what the rest of the family is going through? If the doctors keep a loved one on life support, it can give false hope to family members. Also, sometimes the family will have to foot the bill, and this can be a huge burden.

Also, what is your thesis? If you have one, it is not clear to me. Your thesis should answer the question that you are posing, and it should be stated as though it is fact. Maybe something like this...?
Life support, while a seemingly good idea, only keeps the body alive and can cause a world of hurt and suffering for the patient, as well as his or her loved ones.

Answer 14

I recommend the art of public speaking 10th ed. by Stephen Lucas. the same techniques are observed in writing papers... after all, speeches follow the same rigor.

I will upload excerpts from the textbook in my website in the future. For now, at least take my word that your introduction is lengthy.

Answer 15

and I assume that you've learned how to make an outline already.