Can anyone help with my thesis statement? I am writing about the NY experience. Does it look good so far? Do i have any grammatical errors?
Visualize yourself in the middle of the hustle and bustle at time square.....
Attached.

THANKS!!! :)

Question

Can anyone help with my thesis statement? I am writing about the NY experience. Does it look good so far? Do i have any grammatical errors? 
Visualize yourself in the middle of the hustle and bustle at time square.....
Attached.

THANKS!!! :)

anonymous · Answer

here it is

anonymous · Answer

Ok before I answer your ? I have a ? is that just the thesis or is that your intro and this.....The New York experience is like none other as the businesses, the attractions, and the mere site of capitalism at work, fill a person with awe........ is your thesis

anonymous · Answer

Yep its my intro and thesis. yep spot on.

anonymous · Answer

Ok well then great job just get rid of the comma after captalism at work bc theres no comma needa and then make fill fills besides that awesome job :)

anonymous · Answer

THANKS SOOOOO MUCH!! 
@daniceko is awesome!

anonymous · Answer

YOUR SOOOOOOOOOOO WELCOME! ;) Iove thesis statements for some reason

anonymous · Answer

lol i am glad!
Yay level 47! x)

anonymous · Answer

Yay :) I just noticed that lol