Question

how would you start you introduction with a prompt like this When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and places where you believe that you can live, learn, and flourish. To this end, the Board of Admission is interested in knowing your reasons for applying to Wellesley College and how Wellesley will help you to realize your personal and academic goals.

Answer 1

ok, so basically they give you what they have, and now you must give them what you have. so, just l write something like your resume except in essay format... you would want to make yourself look good, just like how they are trying to make themselves look good to you.

Answer 2

Yes 1400 but you see I dont know how to start it off like the introduction what should I say to grab their attention ?

Answer 3

so what are you good at, and what are youn interested in...and what does wellesly offer that you are interested in?

Answer 4

okay this is some outlines that i did but i dont think they sound to good may you please read them
1.) I would like to attend Wellesley College because it is an all-girls college. I never had experienced or worked with an all-girls group before. Working with a college community I feel you need to experience and work with students how you feel are priority to you. Moving to a college I understood the factor in going to

2.)Wellesley College we be appropriate to the fact it will allow me to College. Moving to a college is a big journey for me. This College will allow me to enhance in a greater factor of a different aspect of a college. Going to a college takes a big step from college in the fact it will allow me to enhance. This cause will allow us to be great due to the factors approaching you. Knowledge will have a big effect towards the end of such rituals, in which you develop a huge aspect. Going to college is my main priority and it will lead me to a great future life

Answer 5

you could also always start with a quote of someone that you think represent you or has similiarites to you.

and also, is that your actual intro?

Answer 6

well thats how it was turing out to be i know its kind of lam e and borign

Answer 7

you could say ya well that is the acatul intro

Answer 8

well, no, your sentence structure seems to be a little poor though, i could help you though.

Answer 9

can you please i really do apperciate yout taking your time to help me fami :)

Answer 10

'I would like to attend Wellesley College because it is an all-girls college.' - so don't add this as your 'grabbing' sentence, you would not really grab anyone's attention if you start with this.

Answer 11

you could, however mention it if you want to, but its not your priority.

Answer 12

okay sounds like a good point

Answer 13

okay

Answer 14

Working with a college community I feel you need to experience and work with students how you feel are priority to you.- this is a good point, you should add this as a topic sentence, but not the intro of the entire paragraph.

Answer 15

okay

Answer 16

While working with a college community, I feel that you need to experience and work with others. For me, interaction and communication with others like me is a priority. - here is an edit of grammatical and other errors.

Answer 17

does that make sense?

Answer 18

yes you made it sound so much better thank you

Answer 19

ok, so the next sentence makes no sense in it what so ever, and its also left hanging.

Answer 20

Moving to a college I understood the factor in going to-

so i assume you are trying to say that its a big step for you... am i right?

Answer 21

yes it is

Answer 22

b/c i am the first to go to college in my family

Answer 23

ok, about that idea, you shouldnt put that, its a cliche, said many times over and over, and gets more boring everytime someone says it...

Answer 24

ok, thats great, colleges are totally into that,

Answer 25

but dont make it a sob story,

Answer 26

okay so you mean to say puti am the first to go to college right?

Answer 27

in my family

Answer 28

yea, but not as your intro, we haven't found out that yet...that would come later on in the essay.

Answer 29

While working with a college community, I feel that you need to experience and work with others. For me, interaction and communication with others like me is a priority. - lets work on what would come after this.

Answer 30

this would be like your next paragraph, after the intro

Answer 31

okay so you know the essay question is basically asking me thta what do you find in this school? and my response has to be in a limited of 400 words. so i was thinking basicall one paragraph should be its an all girls school and the second paraagraph should be how women make the world of toaday

Answer 32

i dont think a paragraph of the all girls school would be that interesting....but the para on women of today sounds good


*sorry for the late reply

Answer 33

what do you think the intorduction is good now i can state how its an all girls colege amd how this effects my learnign and the enviroment im in cause i never workeed ina an all girls community before

Answer 34

ok, if you put it that way, it sounds good

Answer 35

no its okay acatully you know im multi tasking myself cleanignr oom and replying

Answer 36

hey fami do u have a gmail

Answer 37

haha, ok

Answer 38

so we can chagt on there

Answer 39

hey fami i have to go eat i will be rioght back please dont go anywhere

Answer 40

im not so sure, i have no problems with that, but is htat other people could put input here as well.

Answer 41

k

Answer 42

im back
sorry it took me sooooooo long

Answer 43

i know it tok me really really long

Answer 44

hello its no problem

Answer 45

okay so we were working on how to state i would like to go to this college b/c its an all girls school

Answer 46

this is what i wrote
I would like to go to Welsely College for the fact it is an all girls school. I have never worked in a commntiy wilth all girls and this would be a great opportunity to experience it.

Answer 47

well, your sentences sound very basic, it also doesn't really capture how you feel about it.

Answer 48

what about - being with people like myself is a very important ideal that i hold. That is Wellsely college is the best choice one could make, especially when someone like myself can indure college life with help from those around us.

Answer 49

i wouldnt know how to introduce it as a 'girls school' though

Answer 50

wow you are really a good writer what grade are yo in?

Answer 51

10

Answer 52

you?

Answer 53

im in 12 but my weak point is in english/writing

Answer 54

yea, that would explain the college essay

Answer 55

ok, anyways, so what he so far is.....

While working with a college community, I feel that you need to experience and work with others. For me, interaction and communication with others like me is a priority. being with people like myself is a very important ideal that i hold. That is Wellsely college is the best choice one could make, especially when someone like myself can endure college life with help from those around us

Answer 56

change the last word to 'me'

Answer 57

okay so we can say something like i would like to be surronded by those who have the same aspects/feelingls like me . I feel being in a community will help cause the great factors that are approaching you

Answer 58

what do you think?

Answer 59

ay so we can say something like i would like to be surronded by those who have the same aspects/feelingls like me . I feel being in a community with all girls will help cause the great factors that are approaching you

Answer 60

ok, what do you mean by great factors approaching you?

Answer 61

what about being with girls just like me will help me transition and be more comfortable of where i stand in the college community.

Answer 62

okay that makes more sense you give me such great idea fami Thanks

Answer 63

ok, are we done with that one then?

Answer 64

ya this what we we have so far While working with a college community, I feel that you need to experience and work with others. For me, interaction and communication with others like me is a priority. - being with people like myself is a very important ideal that i hold. That is why Wellesley College is the best choice one could make, especially when someone like myself can endure college life with help from those around me. Being with girls just like me will help me transition and be more comfortable of where i stand in the college community.

Answer 65

i think i need a bit more elaboration

Answer 66

yea, that still needs more words anyways, not close to 400 if you are only going to write two paragraphs.

Answer 67

ok, i think you could handle the rest of that paragraph, and we could move to the next one.

Answer 68

okay thats good

Answer 69

Wellesley College we be appropriate to the fact it will allow me to College. Moving to a college is a big journey for me. This College will allow me to enhance in a greater factor of a different aspect of a college. Going to a college takes a big step from college in the fact it will allow me to enhance. This cause will allow us to be great due to the factors approaching you. Knowledge will have a big effect towards the end of such rituals, in which you develop a huge aspect. Going to college is my main priority and it will lead me to a great future life- ok, thats what you have for the second paragraph

Answer 70

no that was me thinking about the intro so i made alot of outlines

Answer 71

oh ok, so we are done?

Answer 72

the seond aragraph is suppose to talk about

Answer 73

how women play a huge role in society today

Answer 74

yes

Answer 75

so write that as topic sentence-

Answer 76

okay

Answer 77

women today play a huge role in modern society. then go on to talk about how wellesly college would help you suceed

Answer 78

in being a successful lady

Answer 79

okay so for examp Welsely college has great oppertunites for y young women like me. It will help me play a huge role in modern society. Young lady’s like me need oppertunites to prove what they have and Wellsely supports this very well.

Answer 80

instead of wellsy supports this very well, what about wellsey will help support me, and provide a firm foundation for my goals/dreams

Answer 81

that is really great

Answer 82

Hey fami I will elaborate more on these details you gave me THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCHHH will you be on tomorow can you read my essay when im finished please

Answer 83

ok, ill try

Answer 84

ok or do you have an gmail or anything because i feel you really helped me out better than any tutor or teacher THAnks

Answer 85

thank you

Answer 86

THANK YOU SOO MUCh

Answer 87

tell me if you get in

Answer 88

dont thank me what did i do ? your ideas really made my essay strong

Answer 89

no you know acatully this is for questbridge it is a scholarship and you have to choose 7 schools and get their essays done
my first choice is nortwestern

Answer 90

do you live in chicago what would you like to go for college

Answer 91

do you live in chicago what would you like to go for college

Answer 92

i dont know yet

Answer 93

oh well i wish you the best and to me your a great writer so any school would accept you ... Thank You gor al your help and I wish there was something I can givreback to you ,but if you ever need help with anythign then please tell me beside english