Question

Check my 2 paragraph essay? ^-^

Answer 1

this sentence doesn't look right
"But at this time, I kind of regret not saying no in the first place! "
you can't start a sentence withusing but, and, or or

Answer 2

use, therefore instead

Answer 3

I will replace it with However ^-^

Answer 4

or that XD

Answer 5

or that

Answer 6

Depends on what kind of writing you have to do. You can get away with it given youre not in English class thats purely about what is "technically" correct. Because otherwise we would never use the word "there" would never use contractions, and whatever other random rules we can get away with violating depending.

Answer 7

@Zale101 for the sentence: Our airplane was rather plain, except for the blue logo it had in the front which read "Jet Blue." <-- do I need to put a period at the end too? :3

Answer 8

@Psymon okey dokey ^-^

Answer 9

It really depends. But I didnt read it yet, lol.

Answer 10

yeah, that's fine, the sentence is throughly read

Answer 11

@Zale101 so I just keep it as it is? :3

Answer 12

yeah, what part u don't feel comfortable with

Answer 13

@Zale101 I think everything else is good ^-^ what do u think? :)

Answer 14

if u delete the period it would be a run-on-sentence

Answer 15

i haven't checked all of it yet lol

Answer 16

@Zale101 no I meant to say if I should put a period at the end too :P like: Our airplane was rather plain, except for the blue logo it had in the front which read "Jet Blue.". <---

Answer 17

one of the most populated cities in the United States.....

Answer 18

@Psymon yep ^-^

Answer 19

or so that's what people say O_O

Answer 20

If you insist on having some sort of pause after "Our relatives invited us over" then make it a semi-colon.

Answer 21

that's great simon, i didn't catch that >.<

Answer 22

I forgot to put "and" after >.>

Answer 23

Okay, whats the point of the regret not sayign no line? I mean, its there but....it seems random.

Answer 24

simon, i realized that too, but when u read a novel. Semi-colons are never used in sentences like that

Answer 25

rarely use*

Answer 26

In a novel a lot of things arent done. This isnt a novel, though xD

Answer 27

@Psymon because I need a purpose of why we r going to new york ^-^

Answer 28

but semi-colons can be done, there's no limits for it i guess

Answer 29

Perfect, how many pages do u you need to write ?

Answer 30

It's like an exclamation party O_O

Answer 31

@Zale101 that's all I need to write ^-^

Answer 32

oh ok :-)

Answer 33

so we good? :D

Answer 34

i think it's good, what do u say @psymon

Answer 35

I dont know how much of it would be personal preference versus a good suggestion, lol. Like for example, I might make "I wasnt scared anymore." Its own sentence. Because it just seems like something that deserves a longer pause than a comma gives. Andit technically is a complete sentence. I wasn't scared anymore. In fact, I actually started to enjoy the ride!

Answer 36

@Psymon U got a point :O would that be all? ^-^

Answer 37

awww zale ^O^ thank u ^O^

Answer 38

"which was surprisingly not glass but plastic" Dont think you need a comma before that but. Seems too pause happy, even if you want to convey that kind of reading pace.

Answer 39

@Psymon that's weird, I thought I put a comma there O.O my bad >.>

Answer 40

I did :O

Answer 41

No, I dont think there should be one there. Lol.

Answer 42

oh my bad XD

Answer 43

Lol, right. I just think it interrupts the flow too much.

Answer 44

I saw our whole city! Florida didn't look so big anymore, it's as if I could grab it!

I get what you mean, but it reads awkwardly to me.

Answer 45

@Psymon sorry for not coming back on >.> computer froze T^T

Answer 46

I revised it once again, does it look better? ^-^

Answer 47

Im doing a bunch of things, so im slow, too xD Ill check in a min :P

Answer 48

@Psymon thank u ^-^

Answer 49

sorry for the bother >.> just take ur time :3

Answer 50

Just trying to see if I can figure out another problem im looking at xD

Answer 51

@Psymon good luck ^O^ and thanks again for ur help, I really appreciate it ^-^

Answer 52

@countonme123

Answer 53

@charlotte123 How can I help you?

Answer 54

@countonme123 can ya do me a favor and check if my essay is good in grammar, pronunciation, and stuff? ^-^ I need help >.>

Answer 55

sure where is it?

Answer 56

@countonme123 ~ My First Airplane Ride ~

My heart was racing as I walked through the doors of the Orlando International Airport. My family and I were going to visit our relatives in New York City! After going through all the "procedures" at the airport, which seemed to take years, we finally got into Airbus A321, our airplane. Our airplane was rather plain on the outside, except for the blue logo it had on its front which read "Jet Blue." Going inside the airplane I noticed many things, its many leather, blue seats, its many windows, and its many passengers. Sitting in my seat, C-17, I saw a small screen in front of me, which I believe is the “miniature T.V.” that I will be using to distract myself during the flight. I also saw some devices above my head, including a small light, a help button, and an AC button. After I listened to the “what to do in case of an emergency demonstration,” all that “hope and faith” that I built up in me flushed away! I couldn’t help but think about what would happen to all of us if something happened to the airplane. My stomach twisted, my hands were a sweaty mess, and my face was as pale as a blank sheet of paper! My family was telling me to take it easy, but how could I do that now? I’m terrified! I closed my eyes for a few minutes, and then I opened them. That is when I realized something...we were already in the air!
I didn’t feel scared anymore. In fact, I started to enjoy the ride! Looking at the window of the plane, which was surprisingly not glass, but plastic, I saw our whole city! Florida didn't look so big anymore; it's as if someone shrunk it! The higher we got up, the smaller it became. The clouds in the sky looked like large, white, cotton balls. Putting on my sunglasses I took a glimpse of the Sun. It looked brighter, and much bigger than usual! After a few announcements, and a visit from one of the flight attendants, we finally landed! It was a rather "bumpy" landing, but it was very fun indeed! It was very cold at the time we got to New York City. Then I noticed something…it was snowing! Thankfully I brought my pink, warm jacket just in case. Good thing I listened to mom! I felt kind of sad, seeing that it's going to be a long time until we ride another airplane again, but seeing my relatives did cheer me up. I can't wait until my next airplane ride! I will never forget this one. It truly one to remember, don’t you agree?

Answer 57

very good descriptive and vivid words here. only one thing that kinda stuck out to me...

It truly one to remember, don’t you agree?

This seems like some kind of "run-on" or 2 separate thoughts combined into one.

Answer 58

@countonme123 so do u think I should seperate the two thoughts? ^-^

Answer 59

also I just noticed it should be It "WAS" truly one to remember.

Anyways... I would separate the two thoughts into a Declarative and Interrogative sentence.

Answer 60

@countonme123 so it should be: It was truly one to remember. Don't you agree?

Answer 61

Yes, there you go!

Answer 62

thanks 123 :D will that be all? ^-^

Answer 63

@countonme123

Answer 64

I believe so. ^_^

Answer 65

@countonme123 THANKS A BUNCH :D 123 power ლ(O౪Oლ)