Question

First time posting my poetry here.

Answer 1

The Girl

A sweet symbol of life, a special symbol of light. Who's beauty has no right, to form, in a world oh so full of strife. When she set her sights on me, I felt my spirit sit in fear. For how should I have known that she would regard me as her dear? My soul has since been calmed, my mind very clear. My eyes have dropped, not one single tear.

Not finished just wanted an opinion so far.

Answer 2

i really like it XD. i write some poetry but not really good stuff. I LOVE IT

Answer 3

Thank you! I feel like I need a better flow for this one though.

Answer 4

im jelly of your creativeness.

Answer 5

Thankee!

Answer 6

Nicely Done, it captured my emotions!

Answer 7

Thanks friend! ^_^

Answer 8

^_^ you're welcome

Answer 9

This is really good! Good job! xD

Answer 10

Thanks!

Answer 11

No problem!

Answer 12

Ravishing!!! *thumbs up*

Answer 13

Thank you Disco!

Answer 14

Good.. Great job!!!

Answer 15

thanks!

Answer 16

No prob, keep up the good work!

Answer 17

I prefer picture books, thank you very much.

c-c-combo-breaker!

Answer 18

I would be nice if you could incorporate terza rima. Then again that is just my opinion, also when you say "who's beauty has no right, to form, in a world oh so full of strife." What do you mean by "who's beauty has no right to form?" Just curious.

Answer 19

Also, wrong section :3

Answer 20

I was stating in that line, that the girl I am talking about (Call me a hopeless romantic) is too good for this world.

Answer 21

Hmm, neat.
I recommend you buy a poetry book, and see if you can get some inspiration to better your poetry. Try reading, "Two bodies" by Octavio Paz, it is quite brilliant, and it seems like you would enjoy it. (It's quite heavy in romanticism.)

Answer 22

Okay, I don't think I will to be quite honest I usually never write things at all. Thank you for the input and opinions though! This is more of a thing to dump spare time in for me.

Answer 23

Awe, that's sad to hear, I for one think if you put enough effort you should be able to become better, who knows you may even gain some fame from doing it.

Answer 24

I highly doubt any of my poems will ever leave my notebook let alone become famous. Thanks again!

Answer 25

Ya never know, but regardless, you ave talent. It is up to you what ya do with it <3 Good luck

Answer 26

have*

Answer 27

This poem is very good!

Answer 28

Awesome! :3 my only suggestion is to take out the "oh so" and just make it "world full of strife"

Answer 29

I was thinking that too, but I posted it before I thought about it. Thanks for the input!

Answer 30

You should update when you add more

Answer 31

I will totally do that.

Answer 32

that was beautiful

Answer 33

Thank you!

Answer 34

your welcome

Answer 35

This is the final completed poem. I took Language enthusiasts advice in the last section, and added a rhyme scheme that is somewhat intelligible.


A sweet beacon of life, a special symbol of light.
Who's beauty has no right, to form, in a world full of strife.
When she set her sights on me, I felt my spirit sit in fear.
For how should I have known that she would regard me as her dear?
My soul has since been calmed, my mind very clear.
My eyes have dropped, not one single tear.

Still a fear remains.
How long will it be?
Till her passion feels restraint.
The day my tears would form an entire sea.
That time has yet to come, so from me there is no complaint.

Answer 36

*POP* OmG It popped!

Answer 37

?_?

Answer 38

loved it

Answer 39

I see the Improvement! Nicely Done!!!

You could always put some time in the last part and work on an ending...
But that's just me so *high five*

Answer 40

That was the ending, I really don't know what else to add.

Answer 41

A friendly advice, you should try replacing some other word with "restraint"

Answer 42

I thought that too, but I can't think of any other word that fits.

Answer 43

Did you try rhyming "restraint" with "remains"?

Answer 44

They are near rhymes..

Answer 45

How about?

"Still would fear remain?
How long will it be?
Till her passion becomes a constant strain.
The day my tears would form an entire sea.
That time has yet to come, until that I'm in her chain."

Well, I am presenting an Idea. If you don't like it, no need to use it but should give you a couple more ideas perhaps...

Answer 46

You can change it to anything u like...

"That time has yet to come, until that I'm stuck in her chain."

or maybe start over or just simply go with the original idea.

Im talking too much... Probably best to leave.
@_@

Answer 47

It doesn't seem my "style" I suppose...

Answer 48

Like i said, im talking too much....

Probably best to go with the original Idea.

Answer 49

It seems good, have you tried asking for opinions in literature? Or writing?

Answer 50

I have not yet.

Answer 51

You should ^_^ It's pretty good.

Answer 52

Really really good. I love the finished product.

Answer 53

Thanks sweetie ^_^

Answer 54

Wow these are all so good. great job Taylor ^-^

Answer 55

That is amazing...I write poetry myself and I am my biggest critic. Lol But you are truely amazing :D

Answer 56

beautiful my dear your a wonderful poet