Question

I'm writing a short story about a guy who is feeling sick and the doctor tells him that there is nothing wrong with him and he needs to take a vacation. How would I start my intro for that? I need to use quotes too.

Answer 1

Well could I ask if your doing a third-person view or a first person view from the perspective of the man?

Answer 2

Not literally could lol sry

Answer 3

Third-person

Answer 4

Okay, you could do the first scene as him waking up around... 4:45 and he's feeling bad or he could actually wake up around 6:00 and go to work...and then begin to feel bad
I think it just depends on what you're doing and how you want the story to take off

Answer 5

May I know his name? :3

Answer 6

Caleb

Answer 7

Caleb, nice
Are there anymore specific details you already know?

Answer 8

I want to start it off with him going to the doctors and the doctor says that there is nothing wrong with him and he should go on a vacation to relive some stress. Caleb takes his advice and finds a cabin online and he goes to the cabin. He puts up cameras outside the cabin so he could see animals. But he notices strange images on his camera. He starts trying to investigate them and sees a strange, human-like creature eating the heart out of animals on the cam recording. Later he learns that he is in fact the strange creature doing obscene things on the cams.

Answer 9

Does that make sense? :P

Answer 10

Later in the story, when he is driving up there. I wanna add this.
Surrounding me are thousands of trees, each one identical. The winds howling violently and I'm drenched from the rain. Loud bangs of thunder petrify me. I can see the old cabin towering above the trees, just visible in the distance. Overwhelmed with hope, I drive towards the cabin. Branches are striking the car windows. All I can think about is the warmth and relaxation from the cabin. I open the wooden door and start settling and unpacking my bags. The next morning I put out cameras..................

Answer 11

Oh...okay...
Well I can try to give an example of how to begin this story but, your natural writing style would probably be different. (Are you going to be changing your view because that portion you posted was first person not third person)

Caleb was waiting. And had been for a good long while. The past couple days these weeks, he had felt strange. Today he couldn't put off going to the doctor any longer.

"Caleb (last name)?"

The call from the nurse had ripped him away from his empty thinking.

"Yes, I'm Caleb."

"The Doctor can now see you." The nurse stated dryly.

The steps to the Doctor's office seemed unusually long....

Something like that

Answer 12

Can I use third and first person point of views in the story? Caleb Rivers.
That's so good! (:

Answer 13

Of course! Its your story. I was just wondering. Good readers will be able to catch on to the change in perspective. Sometimes I like that because it helps you see the story from different angles.
Thanks! :3
I'm not much for horror stories but, I like to write. ;D

Answer 14

I don't wanna be bugging you or anything but can you help me finish the rest of that part please. I'm not really good at doing the quotes. Not the whole story just till he leaves from the doctors and I don't have to do anymore quotes. If your busy and can't it's okay (:

Answer 15

Its okay I can help. :3
But you'll have to give me a couple moments because I'm trying to help someone else at the moment.

Answer 16

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

Answer 17

Okay I'm back :3
So here I left of and here I'll begin again....

....The steps to the Doctor's office seemed unusually long for Caleb, like destiny was at his door. Or the Doctor's door anyhow.

Taking a quick breath before placing three knocks on the door, he pulled it open.

"Hello Doctor (So and So)." he squeaked slightly nervous.

The Doctor turned his gaze away from the papers he was looking at and placed it on his patient. "Mr. Rivers, what seems to be the problem?" he asked almost like if he already thought he knew.

Okay, now I'm going to need you to fill me in on some details or else I won't know what to write lol

Answer 18

The doctor takes a look at him and doesn't find anything wrong or unusual. The doctor thinks its stress and tells him to get away from town and take a vacation. Caleb takes his advice and goes online to find a cabin that he could rent out for a couple days.

Answer 19

Okay..but what pain or tension was Caleb feeling and where?

Answer 20

Caleb's head was hurting and he had bad stomach pains. His bones would start hurting but the pain would go away and come back.
Good?

Answer 21

Yup. Okay starting where I last left off...
...

"Well, I don't know. My head has been hurting a lot lately. And I have these growing stomach pains."

"Let me take a look and then we'll be on our way to solving your problems." the Doctor said with an almost cheery tone.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After the Doctor ran some tests he concluded that his head was hurting from stress, and that the stomach pains were due to not enough protein in his diet. Caleb didn't feel like those were the right answers but, he wasn't one to judge the expertise of someone with far more knowledge on the subject. The Doctor prescribed a vacation with some time to relax and rest. Caleb couldn't argue with the idea of sometime for himself.

....
Something like that :3 Seem good?

Answer 22

Hey sorry to have to leave on short notice but, I've got some assignments of my own that I need to take care of. If you need anymore help just let me know. I'm gonna be off until tomorrow though.

Answer 23

Yes, that's perfect. Thank you! (:

Answer 24

I could start writing about, where he goes online and rents the cabin from there right?

Answer 25

i would say third person to i think it wouldent fell natural to me if it wasent

Answer 26

:3 I think its cool that she's doing third and first. First makes you feel more in tune with the character.

Answer 27

Sorry for asking you for so much help but can you help me edit my short story please?
@LeilaniLane

Answer 28

Like make it better for me?

Answer 29

If you can't today, can you be on tomorrow please? @LeilaniLane

Answer 30

The Cabin in the Woods

Caleb was waiting. And had been for a good long while. The past couple days, he had felt strange. Today he couldn’t pull off going to the doctor any longer.

“Caleb Rivers?”

The call from the nurse had ripped away from his empty thinking.

“Yes, I’m Caleb.”

“The Doctor can now see you.” The nurse stated dryly.

The steps to the Doctor’s office seemed unusually long for Caleb, like density was at his door.

Or the Doctor’s door anyhow. Taking a quick breath before placing three knocks on the door, he pulled it open.

“Hello Doctor (So and So). “He squeaked slightly nervous.

The Doctor turned his gaze away from the papers he was looking at and placed it on his patient.

“Mr. Rivers, what seems to be the problem?” he asked almost like if he already thought he knew.

“Well, I don’t know. My head has been hurting a lot lately. And I have these growing stomach pains.”

“Let me take a look and then we’ll be on our way to solving your problems.” The Doctor said with an almost cheery tone.

After the doctor ran some tests he concluded that his head was hurting from stress, and that the stomach pains were due to not enough protein in his diet. Caleb didn’t feel like those were the right answers but, he wasn’t one to judge the expertise of someone with far more knowledge on the subject. The Doctor prescribed a vacation with sometime to relax and rest. Caleb couldn’t argue with the idea of sometime for himself.

Following the trip from the doctor’s office, Caleb went online and searched for a good vacation spot. While searching the web he found a cabin in the woods that he could rent for a couple days. He considered that it would be a good idea for him to get a cabin because he wouldn’t be disturbed by anyone and he could enjoy looking at the animals outside his cabin. Caleb got the directions and packed his bags. When Caleb was driving up to the cabin, the sun was going down and it was difficult for him to see. The weather made it worse for Caleb because it was raining and thunder was storming up.

“The winds howling violently and loud bangs of thunder petrify me. Caleb said.

“ I can see the old cabin towering above the trees, just visible in the distance.”

“Overwhelmed with hope, I drive towards the cabin.”

“Branches are striking the car windows.”

“All I can think about is the warmth and relaxation from the cabin.”

“I open the wooden door and start settling in and unpacking my bags.”

The next morning Caleb sets up cameras so he could observe animals in their wildlife habitat. He was so excited to witness animals from inside the cabin and not having to bother or fright them off. Caleb couldn’t wait to see the wonderful animals he caught on his camera. As Caleb was watching the recording from last night he noticed a strange image appear. He starts trying to examine it but he cant get a clear view of it. Caleb thought it was a miscommunication with the camera and continued recording. The next night passed and Caleb couldn’t believe what he was watching. He sees a strange, human-like creature eating the heart out of an animal on the camera. He was astounded by how the creature looked and its actions.

That night Caleb was prepared with his laptop to look at every single camera to catch that creature. Hours passed and the creature never appeared on the camera. Caleb got bored and started feeling this pain on his body. Only to find out that he was that creature doing those obscene things on the cams.

Answer 31

Its like really bad :p I'm not happy with my ending. Can you help me edit that to please? I'm sooooo sorry for asking for a lot of help. @LeilaniLane

Answer 32

Its okay :3
I'm here, sorry things have just been a little odd lately
Well, I noticed I made a typo in the beginning
I meant destiny not density lol
Oh, the (So and So) part was for you to give the Doctor a name. It seemed a little odd for me to keep calling him just Doctor

Also, I don't understand whats going on here:

“The winds howling violently and loud bangs of thunder petrify me. Caleb said.
“ I can see the old cabin towering above the trees, just visible in the distance.”
“Overwhelmed with hope, I drive towards the cabin.”
“Branches are striking the car windows.”
“All I can think about is the warmth and relaxation from the cabin.”
“I open the wooden door and start settling in and unpacking my bags.”

Would you explain for me? :3

I would use natural instead of wildlife habitat.
starts should have been started unless you're trying to change the verb tense and then you would have to change all the other verbs :/
Oh! You are trying to change the verb tense. Sorry. Its just all of a sudden it was present instead of past tense. I'm not sure you can have past and present tense sentances mixed all together. Idk. I've never done.

Sorry. I know I'm a bit of a critic sometimes. So, yup. Those are the only grammatical and spelling issues I see.

As for the actual plot, I'm just wondering how he didn't remember any of it. Kinda reminds me of Ruby in Once Upon A Time. You might want to check that out to help you with developing your short story.

Its your ending so, I don't really want to change it a lot but, perhaps you could try adding a little more detail. Try to help the readers see it the way you see it. And then just end it with a surprise ending. Maybe He instead could wake up in the mist of... well animal remains and then remember, and discover that he was the creature. Or maybe you can describe him waking up one of the days with more animal like characteristics. Fur, large teeth.

Answer 33

Honestly I didn't know what to put so I just put that:
“The winds howling violently and loud bangs of thunder petrify me. Caleb said.
“ I can see the old cabin towering above the trees, just visible in the distance.”
“Overwhelmed with hope, I drive towards the cabin.”
“Branches are striking the car windows.”
“All I can think about is the warmth and relaxation from the cabin.”
“I open the wooden door and start settling in and unpacking my bags.”
I'm not good with quoting and all of that :p @LeilaniLane

Answer 34

Would you be able to edit it for me please? I'm so lost and I don't what to write /: Can you change my ending, add or remove paragraphs, details? Your just super good at this type of writing.. Your probably thinking, why did i ever help her :p lol @LeilaniLane

Answer 35

I'm glad to help :3
I just hate when I get super busy and can't check my open study
Sorry that I didn't notice I had other tabs open

:3 Thanks! I love writing, no surprise I want to write some books

Okay give me a moment and I'll see what I can do but, you can always re edit my edits

Answer 36

Welcome(: That's cool! I would never be able to write a book by myself :p

Answer 37

Oh, just wondering is there a minimum amount of paragraphs/ words? I assume that since this is a writing assignment you have a certain amount of words to write.

Answer 38

No

Answer 39

I have to use literary devices though

Answer 40

Oh! Which ones ?

Answer 41

Turning point, figure of speech, foreshadowing, simile, personification, imagery, tone and voice, and symbols.
I don't have to use all of them though

Answer 42

Good! Lol I was like: WHAT!?! I'm gonna have to do some series revising!

Okay so, just 2 or 3 of those right?

Answer 43

yea

Answer 44

Okie almost done!

Answer 45

Omg that was so fast!

Answer 46

The Cabin in the Woods

Mr. Rivers was waiting. And had been for a good long while. The past couple days, he had felt strange. Today he couldn’t pull off going to the doctor any longer.

“Caleb Rivers?” The call from the nurse had ripped away from his empty thinking.

“Yes, I’m Caleb.”

“The Doctor can now see you.” The nurse stated dryly. The steps to the Doctor’s office seemed unusually long for Caleb, like destiny was at his door. Or the Doctor’s door anyhow. Taking a quick breath before placing three knocks on the door, he pulled it open.

“Hello Dr. Marks?” Caleb squeaked slightly nervous.

Mr. Marks turned his gaze away from the papers he was looking at and placed it on his patient. “Mr. Rivers, what seems to be the problem?” he asked almost like if he already thought he knew.

“Well, I don’t know. My head has been hurting a lot lately. And I have these growing stomach pains.”

“Let me take a look and then we’ll be on our way to solving your problems.” The Doctor said with an almost cheery tone. After the doctor ran some tests he concluded that his head was hurting from stress, and that the stomach pains were due to not enough protein in his diet. Caleb didn’t feel like those were the right answers but, he wasn’t one to judge the expertise of someone with far more knowledge on the subject. The Doctor prescribed a vacation with sometime to relax and rest. Caleb couldn’t argue with the idea of sometime for himself.

Following the trip from the doctor’s office, Caleb went online and searched for a good vacation spot. While searching the web he found a cabin in the woods that he could rent for a couple days. He considered that it would be a good idea for him to get a cabin because he wouldn’t be disturbed by anyone and he could enjoy looking at the animals outside his cabin. Caleb got the directions and packed his bags.

When Caleb was driving up to the cabin, the sun was going down and it was difficult for him to see. The weather made it worse because it was raining up a flood. The winds were screaming angrily at him and blasting, booming of thunder petrified him. Caleb spotted the time-weathered, history-seen cabin far beyond the trees barely visible in the distance. Branches batted at the car windows like they were trying to get his attention.

When Caleb was finally inside the cozy cabin, he was joyous to find that it was well heated. Quickly finding the bed he took a nap that lasted all night.

The next morning he set up cameras. Caleb had a desire to see animals in the beauty of their habitat which, he couldn't do in the city. He was excited to see the animals himself without being worried about frightening them.

His glaze was glued upon the recording from last night, ice cream bowl in hand, when he took notice of a strange image. Caleb tired to get a better view but nothing worked.

Must be a problem with my camera. Eh, I'// fix it when I get back.

When Caleb sat down the next night to look at his recordings, with a chocolate popsicle, he wasn't sure if his eyes were working properly.

Is that...a person? Is that thing human? What is it doing to that poor animal!?!

The human-like creature was devouring a deer, at the moment relishing a heart. He was determined to catch it tomorrow night.

He was staring at his laptop waiting for the creature when....

The next morning Caleb Rivers woke up, outside and staring at one of the most terrifying sights of his life. He found out who and what that creature was. And he didn't like his conclusions.

Answer 47

Oops!
up outside, and staring*

What do you think?
I hope I didn't change it up too much :/

Answer 48

Omg this is so good! I would've never came up with this by myself. You saved my life haha
I love it! THANK YOU!!!! :)

Answer 49

:D Thanks!!
Anytime! If you need help with anything else just ask ;3

Answer 50

Okay(: Thanks again

Answer 51

One more question. Do I have to indent?