Question

ibibiubibi

Answer 1

*entertainment
- I would also fix this sentence; it's incomplete: "With the correct amount of care and being provide with sufficient amount of government funding."
- What is the topic for this?

Answer 2

Is your whole essay about the facilities needing to be built with different poles?

Answer 3

The first paragraph is the intro, and there isn't much info about the facilities needing to be built with different poles. There's only one sentence about it. I would end the intro at the second to last sentence and add the last sentence to another paragraph to make it flow better.

So it would look like this: "Many zoos do not provide the necessary medical care to the animal and are housed in crude captivity, which results in an institution that harms animals by representing them as a lower value of life and human power. With the correct amount of care and being provide with sufficient amount of government funding. This would help provide our communities with entertainment, but more importantly educate and create a special connection with different species."

And then add the last sentence (These facilities need to be built with different poles that help provide many opportunities to the public and animals such as, breeding and *conversational sanctuaries.)

Other than that you did a good job! :)

Answer 4

I forgot to finish what I was saying >.<

*And then add the last sentence (These facilities need to be built with different poles that help provide many opportunities to the public and animals such as, breeding and *conversational sanctuaries.), to another paragraph. But make sure that where place it makes sense.

Answer 5

Yes, that could be an option. If you do that though, you should expand on it a bit more.

Answer 6

That sounds good to me :)

Answer 7

Yep. Just correct the grammar and it'll be perfect :P

Answer 8

I'm not sure, but most likely.

Answer 9

Absolutely :D

And don't rush. Take your time :)

Answer 10

Lol any time :)

Answer 11

Well actually, for the thesis statement, I would change it to: "If governmental funds were used to represent the true meaning of zoos, our communities would be provided entertainment, but more importantly, it would help educate and create a special connection with different species."

Governmental funding are the roots of many zoos, which help build different extensions of opportunities to the animals such as breeding and conversational sanctuaries. With every good deed there comes a price; especially when it comes down to an institution such as a zoo. Funding would help establish and maintain breeding within animals, which would help conserve the species avoiding the drastic experience of extinction. Conversational sanctuaries would encourage all species to live a healthy life by not going through any harsh change that could lead to depression and anxiety. That can push away the idea or experience of an animal being restraint in a prison like Alcatraz, where an animal would be treated like Hannibal Lecter.

When it comes down to an institution like a zoo, there are expectations that the public desires to see. When it comes down to an institution like a zoo, there are expectations that the public desires to see. Many have flied from around the world to visit the charming baby animals and the beautiful adult animals at the Atlanta Zoo, for example. Having the support of governmental funds there would be proper medical care given to animals, avoiding any diseases, infections, and injuries. The veterinary part of the zoo would be attentive of the animals with the appropriate equipment and medication. The public would see the care given to the animals, and would apply it as a moral and ethical obligation in their lives.

- I just corrected some of the grammar. Read it over and fix any other mistakes or look for any more changes that you would like to make to it :)

- And yes, it is concise, efficient and logical. Very nice job!

Answer 12

Hmm. Yeah that does sound kind of funky...

What if we said it like, "For example, many have flied from around the world to visit the charming baby animals and the beautiful adult animals at the Atlanta Zoo."?

Answer 13

Well, you don't want to sound repetitious...
You could just say, "charming, beautiful animals"

Answer 14

If you feel like you need to add more information or details to your essay, feel free to. Just don't add too much to the point where it's confusing it overwhelming.

Answer 15

*and overwhelming

Answer 16

What is an emotional appeal? (Is that what you're asking?)

Answer 17

I'm having some trouble explaining it you, so I hope this link helps you out. >.< I took screenshots of the information that will help you out the most.

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Source: https://www.boundless.com/communications/methods-of-persuasive-speaking/emotional-appeals/defining-emotional-appeal/

Answer 18

No problem :P It's nice to really help someone out :3

Answer 19

Lol yeah true that xD

Well a conclusion is the end of your essay, so you should wrap it up. Restate your thesis, and some main points (it helps to reword these points though to avoid repetition). Also, don't forget the emotional appeal.

Answer 20

Haha thanks xD You too! Goodnight :3

Answer 21

coudl you please delete the parts of essay