In no fewer than three sentences, critique the following paragraph. Explain where it could be improved. Then, in your own words, rewrite the paragraph to make its writing stronger. Make sure you include a hook, supporting evidence, and a topic sentence. Use correct spelling and grammar.
Growing flowers is one of my happiest childhood memories. Gardening offers more than a way for kids to have fun. There are many things to gain from working with plants outside. It is unfortunate that many people feel too busy to garden. More people should take a chance with gardening to see what they can create I am glad I learned to grow plants when I was a kid.

Question

In no fewer than three sentences, critique the following paragraph. Explain where it could be improved. Then, in your own words, rewrite the paragraph to make its writing stronger. Make sure you include a hook, supporting evidence, and a topic sentence. Use correct spelling and grammar. 
Growing flowers is one of my happiest childhood memories. Gardening offers more than a way for kids to have fun. There are many things to gain from working with plants outside. It is unfortunate that many people feel too busy to garden. More people should take a chance with gardening to see what they can create I am glad I learned to grow plants when I was a kid.

ashleyisakitty · Answer

This paragraph is choppy and needs grammatical revising. In the last sentence "More people should take a chance with gardening to see what they can create I am glad I learned to grow plants when I was a kid" either needs a comma placed between "create" and "I", or a a period should be put after "create" so there would be a new sentence.

anonymous · Answer

Agreed, these sentences need to be a bit longer. Also it feels like this is just a preview of an actual paragraph, like i'm getting the basics and not the whole thing

anonymous · Answer

Thank you guys! :)