Question

I wrote this poem one day,
it was about a young girl named Kay.
She was an inspiration to me,
when she told me what she wanted to be.
She said that she is going to be taken,
it was then when i was awaken .
So i asked why,
she began to cry.
She was going to be my angel in heaven,
and that her reason to be taken.
That was the last time we talked,
I was so shocked.
You are my grace,
you are what keeps me at a pace.
Thank you kay
you have shown me the right way.

Answer 1

i have writen this for a dear friend.

Answer 2

@brooklyn95 @phi_brain @SarahEZZMcK @adrynicoleb @Miracrown @asatt32

Answer 3

That sounds really nice, well written! :)
I wish I was good at poerty as well...

Answer 4

the way i see it is that we all have so much room to advance and learn. life is so full of task and risk.

Answer 5

my great grandpa told methat the way to succeed id life is to learn one thing every day

Answer 6

in*

Answer 7

Learning never exhausts the mind.
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. :)

Answer 8

we are always being taught even when we arenot listening. it may be about our selves / others/ or even life lessons when we make good or bad judgements

Answer 9

@AnnalieseBronz @gold_grace123

Answer 10

@Wolfboy

Answer 11

noice.It can use some work but I'm real nit picky. I think it is pretty good

Answer 12

name it im always looking for ways to improve

Answer 13

ok

Answer 14

It was good :) Sad, but good :P

Answer 15

"I wrote this poem one day,
it was about a young girl named Kay." This is a good start for a shorter poem with a simple meaning. But here is the gist. At the end you say. "Thank you kay
you have shown me the right way." What i think you may need is a saying a=in the third line along the line of. "while i was walking astray" To show that before her, You were astay, and after her you went the wrong way

Answer 16

I would also put some more words for the flow in there to make it come across the mind easier.

Answer 17

very true. im not saying that you are wrong but do you want my point of view

Answer 18

"So i asked why,
she began to cry." I would do something along the lines of "So when i asked why, She broke down, and began to cry"

Answer 19

Yea sure. I'm not saying what you did is bad either. I am just showing my writing style

Answer 20

I would love to hear why, I love writing and want to see many different styles

Answer 21

understandable
when people ask you to write for them and they only give you a few ideas thats all you have to go on and you dont want to start adding thing that the never said

Answer 22

Thats completely understandable. So if you dont want to add likes my my fist suggestion I would just add flow words. They don't change the meaning only clean up the flow

Answer 23

thats agreeable

Answer 24

@Marco,Phillip From where you got its theme from ?

Answer 25

from a friend of his past with a young girl @Koikkara

Answer 26

@Gravity_Dreams

Answer 27

i am very impressed with your poetry marco if you really take poetry to heart you can maybe start something with that considering that you are very intrested in poetry form the looks of it

Answer 28

once again this is very good :)

Answer 29

lol Thanks @Gravity_Dreams, i am doing a book right now but i cant even think about publishing it until i have about 50 poems

Answer 30

well if you really want to pulish it into a book i suggest having many profesionals that have diffrent perspectives look at it but its still very good and i will be looking foward to that book

Do u do haiku's?

Answer 31

no but im sure i could figure one out. ill so some studing on it

Answer 32

@Danielle_Ello

Answer 33

yes?

Answer 34

im the dude with the poems that is tagging you so you can read and give me what you think lol

Answer 35

oh haha I read this one already:) It's really good! I like writing poems myself

Answer 36

awesome tag me in some so i can see what you got lol

Answer 37

the next one that is

if you want to

Answer 38

thanks

Answer 39

@ikram002p @strawberrysorbet @paki @ziqbal103

Answer 40

i will simple say outstanding... and for coming posts, please tag me must....

Answer 41

thanks and okay i will

Answer 42

i mostly loved this one ,
i can feel she is a friend with you
but btw what happend to her in real life ? outside of ur peoms ?

Answer 43

this is what happened to my good friend

Answer 44

all my poems are non-fiction

Answer 45

did she pass away for real ?
sorry to hear that

Answer 46

http://openstudy.com/study#/updates/539f82c0e4b0eb8de56ead1d you all need to look at this girls poem also. she has an amazing talent and dont know it

yes she did

Answer 47

sure ill read !