Question

help please easy
will medal and fan

Answer 1

can you check errors in grammar, structure, and punctuation
for my rough draft

There once lived a beautiful girl named Proserpina, which lived in a town called Trenton. Every morning she woke to start her daily chores on the farm. She always loved to go outside to fell the sunshine and to see the elegant scenery and the sunrise so that always motivated her not to hate her chores. But one day she asked if they could take a camping trip out of town to explore the outside of town. So her mother Ceres replied yes with a big smile on her face. So they packed up food, shelter, and water and started their journey.
It took them at least an hour to reach the big gates of the town wall. When they exited the city ceres set up a quick meal to feed her and Proserpina. One of the first things Proserpina noticed when she got outside the wall was the vast landscape mountains and hills. Last time she remembered seeing this was when her father took her for journey out of the city when she was younger. So as they were walking thru the trail for many hours they noticed a terrible storm coming from the distance. At first they thought they could just set up shelter and wheatear it out. But as it got closer it intensified, tornadoes started appearing out of no were. When they finally decided to pack up and head up it was too late they were caught in the middle of it.
They covered there head from the debris flying every which way rushing home for their life. The path was beginning to flood up to their ankles. As they spotted the town from the distance they felt a little bit relived but they know it was still miles away. As they finally go thru the gates of the city they ran home to get shelter from the storm. The next day they woke up to see the severe damage of the storm, many of their Barnes collapsed and a number of the animals died that was in them.

Answer 2

I can proofread it, give me a minute.

Answer 3

kk thx

Answer 4

take yah time

Answer 5

"There once lived a beautiful girl named Proserpina, which lived in a town called Trenton." This should be 'who lived', not which.

"...loved to go outside to fell the sunshine" should be feel.
You should actually probably change the entire sentence to this, just because this flows better: "She always loved to go outside to feel the sunshine, see the elegant scenery and watch the sunrise which always motivated her to not hate her chores."

"But one day she asked if they could take a camping trip out of town to explore the
outside of town." You repeat 'out of town' here. You should change it to 'But one day she asked if they could take a camping trip out of town to explore.'

"One of the first things Proserpina noticed when she got outside the wall was the vast landscape mountains and hills." should be "One of the first things Proserpina noticed when she got outside the wall was the vast landscape, with mountains and hills."

"Last time she remembered seeing this was when her father took her for journey out of the city when she was younger." change it to "Last time she remembered seeing this was when her father took her on a journey out of the city when she was younger."

"So as they were walking thru the trail for many hours they noticed a terrible storm coming from the distance." should be "They had been walking through the trail for many hours when they noticed a terrible storm coming from the distance."

"At first they thought they could just set up shelter and wheatear it out." I think you meant to put 'wait it out'?

"But as it got closer it intensified, tornadoes started appearing out of no were." should be "But as it got closer it intensified; tornadoes started appearing out of no where."

"When they finally decided to pack up and head up it was too late they were caught in the middle of it." should be "When they finally decided to pack up and head out, it was too late. They were caught in the middle of it."

"They covered there head from the debris flying every which way rushing home for their life." Change there to their. Also, change the sentence to: "They covered their head from the debris flying every which way, rushing home for their life."

"As they spotted the town from the distance they felt a little bit relived but they know it was still miles away." should be "As they spotted the town from the distance, they felt a a small amount of relief, but they knew it was still miles away."

"As they finally go thru the gates of the city they ran home to get shelter from the storm." should be "As they finally got through the gates of the city, they ran home to get shelter from the storm."

"The next day they woke up to see the severe damage of the storm, many of their Barnes collapsed and a number of the animals died that was in them." should be "The next day they woke up to see the severe damage from the storm. Many of their barns had collapsed, and a number of animals inside had died."

Answer 6

Did that help?

Answer 7

alot thank you....i said thx before guess it didnt send