Question

Please give me feedback to help me improve on my writing skills.
this is a narrative essay btw

Answer 1

I, Bri Durbin, was in kindergarten when I met who I thought was going to be my BFF (Best Friend Forever). Little did I know as such a young kid, we grow up and all get interested in other activities and find more friends. My Best Friends’ name was Cashalyn Taylor, she and I were so much alike it was crazy! One of my favorite memories with Cashalyn was when I went over to her house. “Bri, I dare you to eat that pepper,” Cashalyn said laughing. I thought about it for a minute or two and said, “I’ll do it if you do it, but we need the milk outta the fridge first!” Cashalyn went into her Dad, David’s house, and got the little carton of milk outta the fridge and ran to the front porch where I was sitting holding the hot pepper. Cashalyn looked at me, with a suspicious smile on her face, and said, “Alright Bri, do it, then I will.” I bit a tiny piece off of the end of the pepper and put it in my mouth. “OH MY GOODNESS, GIVE ME THAT MILK, IM DIEING OVER HERE,” as I said this I was jumping on the porch and chasing Cashalyn who of course was running away from me with the milk in her hand laughing! I knew she was going to try and pull something over my head and I was right! She never did try the pepper, but I sure got that milk!
Cashalyn and I stopped going to school together after the 2nd grade when I left Skyway Elementary School. It was hard to leave my best friend but I had to go to a school that was closer to my house. We continued to hang out every weekend despite not going to the same schools. Finally after a 2 years passed at Atlas, the school closer to my house, I didn’t like it there and I wanted to go to the school where all my friends where at. My parents put me back in Skyway with Cashalyn. I was shocked when I went back to school there though; I thought we would hang out all the time and have the same classes. It was different from my thoughts; the ironic part of it all was that even though we were going to school together again, we stopped hanging out on the weekends and even stopped hanging out at school. I figured out why after a couple years of going through the same situations. Kids grow up and move on, especially in elementary school, kids want a ton of friends and forget the ones that were there from the start of their life. We grew apart more than I wanted up too, but about 2 years ago when I was a freshman in high school, we started talking again. We have only hung out once since then, but I am ok with that because we are both busy with focusing on school, work, and our futures. I defiantly hope we talk again in the next few years, but realistically, we won’t. Unfortunately this happens a lot in kids every age, but we just have to roll with it and go with the flow, if they are meant to be your best friend forever, they will always come back and things will always work out for the better.



Is this good?

Answer 2

here is some extra "help" 1. Clarity. Complex words and syntax are a hindrance to clarity and should be avoided. Ideas should be clearly distributed between sentences and paragraph

Answer 3

2. Don't describe each and every one of your own movements.

Answer 4

3. Avoid the second-person narrative. An important part of the narrative essay is the fact that the writer experienced the events described.