Question

Alright this maybe stupid, but its for school.

Somewhere far away
is my heart.

It was once so shiny
you could see it from afar.

My smile faded with it
sometime ago.

I wonder where it is.
Can you see it?

Because I can't.

Answer 1

@chefducky is it good or nah?

Answer 2

amazballs

Answer 3

well alrighty then :P

Answer 4

It is very good. Much better than i could have come up with. But, I would change the word "shiny" for Bright. No offense but I think the poem would move smoothly with "Bright" instead of "shiny".

Hope this helps! :-)

-Castiel

Answer 5

Thanks

Answer 6

two thumbs up!! ~.^

Answer 7

personally i liked the word shiny. I felt like the poem was very innocent and childish in a way, but not in a bad way. i think what i mean by childish is light and airy. Thats the vibe i got. If you wanted to make it more serious then i can help but if you were going for this then it was perfect and i loved it. Honestly it was kind of refreshing hearing something like this