Question

Can someone help me with this 2 sentence personal description I am writing?

Answer 1

This is what is have:

A passionate Economics and Finance student with more than 2 years of financial service experience. Consistently sets the bar high and exceeds expectations. Dedicated to customer satisfaction, quality, teamwork, and accountability.

Answer 2

@shrutipande9

Answer 3

Than you @shrutipande9

Answer 4

Im trying to do this for my resume and I know my grammar can always use some editing :)

Answer 5

This is my personal summery that goes at the top, please see an example: http://www.itresumeexpert.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/CTO-Resume1.jpg

Answer 6

I guess the grammar is perfect...sounds good to me..:)

Answer 7

What do you think, should I add anything else or it would be fine to send it out as is?

Answer 8

UMM...that much is okay...2-3 more sentences would be good...i am not sure whther entreprenurial is a word..i got to check..that sentence sounds a lil weird...combine....

Answer 9

No no haha
Thats an example I found on the internet

Answer 10

The one I wrote I posted above in my first comment

Answer 11

ohh okay..:P
what u hv written is perfect:)

Answer 12

write 1-2 sentences more though...better...dont boast though..:P

Answer 13

A passionate Economics and Finance student at X University. Expert in in customer service with over 2 years of financial services experience including (comm/colon?)handling large amount of cash, risk assessment, and selling financial products. Consistently setting the bar high and exceeds expectations in personal and professional fields. Dedicated to customer satisfaction, quality, teamwork, and accountability.

Answer 14

lets take some expert advice as well since this is a resume....

Answer 15

@sammixboo

Answer 16

sounds good to me

Answer 17

Thanks :)))

Answer 18

ur welcome..:)

Answer 19

Well you said you need a two sentence description, but you got three! I just combined the last two sentences:

A passionate Economics and Finance student with more than 2 years of financial service experience. Consistently sets the bar high, exceeds expectations, and dedicated to customer satisfaction, quality, teamwork, and accountability.

Answer 20

UNless if three is acceptable, then what you had is great!

Answer 21

Three is good there are no rules

Answer 22

Oke dokie!

Answer 23

Im just not sure if I should go into detail because I mention the cash handling and risk assessment in my "Summary of Qualifications" right below

Answer 24

A passionate Economics and Finance student at X University. Expert in in customer service with over 2 years of financial services experience including (comma/colon?)handling large amount of cash, risk assessment, and selling financial products. Consistently setting the bar high and exceeding expectations in personal and professional fields. Dedicated to customer satisfaction, quality, teamwork, and accountability.

Answer 25

:/

Answer 26

I leaning toward going with the shorter version. What do you think?

Answer 27

So @sammixboo whats your opinion?

Answer 28

@bohotness Hi, what do you think?

Answer 29

i agree :D