Question

Poem; criticism is welcome.

Answer 1

"Anonymity"

I want to stop;
To never do it again.
I've wanted that before,
But I could never make it.
This time, I have to do it,
Then, it'll be no more.
Six times that has happened,
But there was never any change.
So what's different this time?
Each time I was desperate,
I hate how that feels.
But never hated it enough
To stop what I was doing.
I can't look at myself;
I can't live with it anymore.
I'm tired of the hate,
I'm tired of the shame.
Maybe that's what makes
This time so different.
All the hate has piled up,
A ticking bomb,
And if it explodes, then I'm gone.
I don't want that, so I
Decide to try again,
To lie awake and wait for morning
And see what may come
With the breaking of dawn.
If it is the breaking of me,
Then so be it,
But I will be real.
Real and broken,
But forever rid of the
Mask and the nightmares
That it brought.

Answer 2

I have no idea where this came from (and it is definitely not what I normally write), so critique is welcome.

Answer 3

it's pretty good, it describes a few times in my life perfectly, and I honestly think everyone experiances this at least once in their life. If I may ask, wht\at do you normally write?

Answer 4

Generally, I try to avoid free verse. But also, I try to avoid personal stories with my poetry, or at least, not let my own desperation bleed through. But, true, I think that everyone experiences this every once in a while.

Answer 5

Thanks for the feedback.

Answer 6

welkstome :)

Answer 7

thank you :)

Answer 8

This is pretty good.

Answer 9

Thanks

Answer 10

Wow this is good, it's good to try something else, it turned out great

Answer 11

MAKE THOSE STARS GOLD HEHE LOL

Answer 12

It is a great poem lol better than my poetry

Answer 13

I want to stop;
To never do it again.
I've wanted that before,
But I could never make it.
This time, I have to do it,
Then, it'll be no more.
Six times that has happened,
But there was never any change.
So what's different this time?
Each time I was desperate,
I hate how that feels.
But never hated it enough
To stop what I was doing.
I can't look at myself;
I can't live with it anymore.
I'm tired of the hate,
I'm tired of the shame.
Maybe that's what makes
This time so different.
All the hate has piled up,
A ticking bomb,
And if it explodes, then I'm gone.
I don't want that, so I
Decide to try again,
To lie awake and wait for morning
And see what may come
With the breaking of dawn.
If it is the breaking of me,
Then so be it,
But I will be real.
Real and broken,
But forever rid of the
Mask and the nightmares
That it brought.
4 days agoReport Abuse
66
geneticrockhopper247 Mighty Pen Best Response Medals 3
I have no idea where this came from (and it is definitely not what I normally write), so critique is welcome.
4 days agoReport Abuse
60
cecormier Best Response Medals 0
it's pretty good, it describes a few times in my life perfectly, and I honestly think everyone experiances this at least once in their life. If I may ask, wht\at do you normally write?
4 days agoReport Abuse
66
geneticrockhopper247 Mighty Pen Best Response Medals 3
Generally, I try to avoid free verse. But also, I try to avoid personal stories with my poetry, or at least, not let my own desperation bleed through. But, true, I think that everyone experiences this every once in a while.
4 days agoReport Abuse
66
geneticrockhopper247 Mighty Pen Best Response Medals 3
Thanks for the feedback.
4 days agoReport Abuse
60
cecormier Best Response Medals 0
welkstome :)
4 days agoReport Abuse
66
geneticrockhopper247 Mighty Pen Best Response Medals 3
thank you :)
4 days agoReport Abuse
15
maxbunny Best Response Medals 0
This is pretty good.
3 days agoReport Abuse
66
geneticrockhopper247 Mighty Pen Best Response Medals 3
Thanks
3 days agoReport Abuse
69
horsegirl27 Mighty Pen Best Response Medals 0
Wow this is good, it's good to try something else, it turned out great
3 days agoReport Abuse
3
Lyuba06 Best Response Medals 0
Reply Using Drawing

2 days agoReport Abuse
60
i_suck_at_school Best Response Medals 0
MAKE THOSE STARS GOLD HEHE LOL
2 days agoReport Abuse
54
little_rebel Best Response Medals 0
It is a great poem lol better than my poetry
yesterdayReport Abuse
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Writing

Answer 14

I think this is really well written! I believe that everyone feels this way at some point or another. I'd like to read more of your writing!

Answer 15

Thanks, guys :)