Question

I tried my best to please you
I tried my hardest to win you over
I tried to ignore what they said
I tried to ignore the thoughts in my head
I tried looking past the flaws
I tried looking past the trauma
I tried to think it was going great
I tried but eventually I fell back to my place
I tried ending it all
I tried everything but I couldn't help but fall
I tried not thinking about you
I tried acting like it didn't hurt
I tried to acting dumb to make you laugh
but now I am tired of trying
at this point I'm accepting the pain
I tried my best to please you

Answer 1

it's my first poem (or at least i think it's a poem)
tell me what you thing

Answer 2

@Pika_Pika

Answer 3

I like it a lot. I never written a poem myself so I wouldn't know if it is one or not lol

Answer 4

thanks.... it means a lot

Answer 5

Yews welcome

Answer 6

I tried my hardest to capitalize the letter"I".

Answer 7

@MilkNCookies is that better Adolf Grammar?

Answer 8

I liked it it was very heartfelt, it reminded me of so many memories not all of the pleasant but I liked it.

Answer 9

thank you @Crazypizzalover and sorry for any flashbacks or anything else that may have arisen from the depths of your mind

Answer 10

I stop reading after I saw that his "I" wasn't capitalized.

Answer 11

lol it wasn't even that it was just reading every line came a new feeling.Great Job!

Answer 12

@Roasted

Answer 13

And that is supposed to hurt me how, exactly?

Answer 14

@abb0t

Answer 15

My poetry. :/

Answer 16

That was just rewd. @tkhunny

Answer 17

Just expressing myself with Poetry. Gosh...

Answer 18

I hope this isn't abrupt,
but your poem really sucks,
It's time to go outside and play,
Not sit on OpenStudy all day. :')

Answer 19

Not just*

Answer 20

I've seen a cat with a hat,
A goat with no coat,
A post with no host,
Just a roast not a boast,
Your poem is a joke,
And you're looking a little broke.

Answer 21

not to boast*

Answer 22

Personally, I like it. I find the repetition of "I" to be a little annoying, however. Perhaps if you utilized some enjambment (Melding the sentences together within the lines), then it would be a little more varied. Also, maybe vary your sentence structure a little more and add some imagery. For a first poem, I think it's good, but it is a bit rough. After a little bit of polishing, I think it will be great.

Answer 23

Nice Adam. It was better than the first poem I wrote. I feel jealous my friend. "In a good way?." Anyway, keep up the good work. :D

Answer 24

@MilkNCookies If only I knew what you were talking about.

Answer 25

I love this poem

Answer 26

I love this poem