Question

Hey, can I please get an honest opinion on this poem?

Answer 1

Either this life is meaningless, or it's meaning is, overshadowed by things that only satisfy for the moment, witness to the lost, thank God for each component. You're not here for long, so live life to the fullest. But be careful what you do, world's already too foolish. Live your life on your knees, it will take you farther than empty pleads. Try asking for directions instead of looking for leads. Stop worrying about money and help me sow these seeds. I told him to watch out for Lucy, but he didn't take my heeds. I told him to look in a Bible, but he never reads. I told him to be careful, but now all his mama does is grieve. That's where I screwed up, telling him to do things. Instead I shoulda offered and warned him about the hell that what he does brings. Now all I can really do is pray. It says if they don't listen to just walk away. Maybe he'll just understand someday.

Answer 2

Is it yours? O_O

Answer 3

Yeah

Answer 4

It's INCREDIBLE! :O

Answer 5

Thanks so much! I appreciate it!

Answer 6

Write more! :DDD

Answer 7

Thanks, I will!

Answer 8

i loved the meaning and your voice is incredible. Suggestions i have is breaking up the lines. Also i wouldnt worry to much about this with this poem but for future referance when doing a rhyme of some sort you need to be consistent unless trying to prove a point but whenever proving a point you need to make it apparent to your audience. So next time try keeping the rhyme and being consistent or having no rhyme at all.

Answer 9

Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it!

Answer 10

I love this poem! It's very beautiful and well-done! (^_^) I think it would seem more like a poem if you structured it to be like most poems (pressing the enter button for each new verse), but the structure that you gave it made it unique and also seem like a bit of a speech in a way. I think that you did an amazing job! (^_^) *Thumbs-up*

Answer 11

an amazing piece of work, indeed.

Answer 12

Thanks!