My Neverland:
Please critique and give suggestions:D

Question

My Neverland:
Please critique and give suggestions:D

anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't mind if you became my Neverland
forever is a long time but i would love to be spending it holding you hand
You're my everything you're my only thing
I may not have much but this heart is all i have
its been beaten and torn tattered and worn but its survived the thunder and storm
I know my halo is a little crooked and my wings are broken and this lil ole' fallen angels dreams are unspoken but i promise i can learn to fly again 
it'll take some time but i can put them in the wind


So... i wouldn't mind if you became my Neverland.. forever is a long time but i would love to spend it holding your hand.

anonymous · Answer

it holding your hand not you hand

anonymous · Answer

I think it's beautiful, all that I would fix is putting in some commas :) I like it

anonymous · Answer

Its such a pretty poem! I love it.

babynini · Answer

I wouldn't mind if you became my Neverland
forever is a long time, I would love to spend it holding you hand
You're my everything, you're my only thing
I may not have much but i'll give you my heart
its been beaten, and torn,  tattered, and worn but it's survived thunder and storms
I know my halo is a little crooked and my wings are broken 
and this lil ole' fallen angels' dreams are unspoken
It'll take some time -
but I promise I can learn to fly again 


Just a few grammar edits and restructering of a few phrases. Gorgeous!

anonymous · Answer

😘😘thanks

babynini · Answer

No problem:)