Hi. I have this essay to write. Could you look at it. Tell me if I need anything to fix and or correct? Thank you.

Question

help_people · Answer

@Teddyiswatshecallsme

teddyiswatshecallsme · Answer

I'm a bit confused in this line of the third paragraph "," Shhh Grace, be still. I am failing to go find her,"  Failing to go find her?

help_people · Answer

Yeah Im not sure wht tht means etier. I think i wsa trying to say somehting like I cant find her.

help_people · Answer

What should I say?

help_people · Answer

Never mind i think I have it form here. Thank you . i gvace you a medal ;)

teddyiswatshecallsme · Answer

The few couple of paragraphs are good, they could use a little grammatical help so i could understand them better. But other than that its a pretty good story. I could visualize the shadows and their conversation my only comment about that though would be to try and use some more visual words so that they your readers can actually SEE whats happening and maybe you could elaborate more on how you felt (talking about in the story) Like to convey fear, you did that well i'm just saying it would be more riveting if you elaborated on those kinds of sensory words. :D

help_people · Answer

ok thanks !

teddyiswatshecallsme · Answer

You're welcome.

help_people · Answer

did you delte some of it @Teddyiswatshecallsme

help_people · Answer

there is the revised version