Question

How can I better this essay?

Answer 1

Civil Rights Movement
United States history has been a constant struggle. We have struggled for freedom, rights, and most importantly equality. The civil rights movement was one of the struggles that Americans had concurred. There were many goals of this movement. Three of the goals that were made were to end racial discrimination, ensure civil rights for members of every ethnic group, and to provide fun and fair employment for all citizens. The Civil Rights Movement accomplished a lot of the goals it was supposed to. With that being said I think there is still a lot to be done to fully complete the mission of civil rights.
The Civil Rights Movement legally brought African Americans out of second class citizenship and into first class. Although African Americans may have this full legal equality, on a social level African Americans are still picked apart from white people. There is still discrimination towards black people it is just behind closed doors and not as open as it used to be. African Americans aren’t the only ethnic group that struggles with discrimination. There is discrimination towards almost every ethnic group that is indifferent from white people in the United States. I think racial discrimination is one thing that Americans could work on improving, as well as a goal that the Civil Rights movement had failed to meet.
Another goal that the Civil Rights Movement has failed to meet is full and fair employment. Women are still getting paid less than men in workplaces. This is an example of gender discrimination and there could definitely be some improvement in this area. Overall I believe that the Civil rights movement still has a lot of work to improve on in order for Americans to experience full equality.

Answer 2

It looks pretty good to me. You could make it longer but other than that it looks 👍.

Answer 3

I have no idea of what level of schooling you are at, but I feel that you have potential to make your sentence structure flow a lot better. I'm not sure how to word this, but try not to be completely consistent in how you write your sentences. Try adding in a semi colon somewhere and combining two sentences, or something of that nature that doesn't make you have the same type of sentence over, and over, and over. Also, I don't know what the prompt is, but try not to be so directly opinionated towards the end. You should choose a side for whatever the argument is. However, try not using the pronoun "I" so often. Essays tend to be more influential if there isn't so much of "I feel" or "This is why I...". Just some food for thought.

Answer 4

That's kinda more of a paragraph, not so much an essay. It needs to be more direct and distant, none of the personalized "I believe" kind of thing.

Answer 5

there are a few capilazation errors