Question

i was with my only love
now i'm his ex girl
it was more than a year
now he’s onto his next girl

it won't ever be same
he took a part of me
i don't know what to do
i don't know who ima be

he said forever
and i believed him
now it’s never
and i need

if you read this
baby i'm sorry
just no in my heart
you will be missed

what you guys think???

Answer 1

Name it "EP's Love Rap"

Answer 2

I like it... Nice rhyme scheme

Answer 3

thank you

Answer 4

In this song are you trying to move on or are you trying to hold on and let him know that he is missed?

Answer 5

tryna move on but its really hardd

Answer 6

I know how that is.... I have gone through it too... I think you are off to a good start with this song and moving on... good job :)

Answer 7

thanks :/

Answer 8

I love it! Super relatable. But 'no' should be spelled 'know'. Just a tip, it's a really good piece! I know that moving on is hard too, just eat chocolate ice cream and watch funny movies :) Stay strong lovie :)

Answer 9

I'd sing this in the shower

Answer 10

i love it

Answer 11

Its really good :D

Answer 12

nice

Answer 13

Not to be rude or anything, but most of your lines sound as if they're missing explanation, also everyone else that commented here said that there was a rhyme scheme, I don't really see it, some lines rhyme, but not all do. To me, it seems short, but short songs are acceptable. It's an interesting piece and I can't relate exactly, but I understand that moving on from a situation like that is hard. Here's my constructive criticism expressed through editing your song:

"*I* was with my only love,
Now *I'm* his ex girl,
It was more than a year,
Now he’s *with* his next girl, ['onto' sounds really weird.]

It won't ever be *the* same, [You forgot 'the'.]
He took a part of me,
*I* don't know what to do,
*I* don't know who *I'm supposed to* be, ['ima' sounds ridiculous in my opinion.]

He said *he would be with me* forever, [You need to fill in the gap, because 'He said forever', okay what does that exactly mean, you know?]
And *I* believed him,
Now it's never, [I would extend this line to fit the first line, but I can't think of anything.]
And *I* need *someone to love me again*, [Again, 'And I need' doesn't clarify anything, it leaves it blank, like, "And I need..." What? What would the person need?]

If you *are reading* this, ['are reading' sounds better than just having 'If you read this'.]
*Then I am* sorry, ['I'm' doesn't fit when singing it and 'baby' shouldn't be used.]
Just *know* in my heart, [It's 'know' not 'no'.]
You will be missed."

Other than that, you did good at putting this together. I know I'm probably going to receive negative feedback on how I corrected your song, but it's my opinion.