Help Please! Will Medal.

I need to revise these paragraphs. Adding more descriptive language and sensory details. Then I need to revise the entire story if needed. Adding more words and sentences to reach 1000-1500. Can someone help?

Seven and a half pounds, twenty inches long; supposedly a normal human being. They named me Montressor after my great-grandfather, who was ironically malicious. My intelligence advanced as my body developed. The intelligence in my parents however seemed to decay. Desideria and Vittorio would sip away their problems, forgetting their young adolescent. I was forced to perform parental duties for myself at such a young age. As time passed, earning an education became my top priority or more like an escape. The school yard is where Fortunato, eight years old like myself but bold and strong, became my friend, best friend in fact. “Why are you by yourself?”, was the first thing he said. He was the first one to approach me, the first one I shared a chuckle with, my first friend.
Throughout elementary school Fortunato did not leave my side. It was comforting knowing that I had someone there for me, for the first time. There was a common sport the children played at the schoolyard, which Fortunato took interest too. He gained more friends but my desire to make any was nonexistent. My desire was for Casandra, she was flawless. Her long, curly, chestnut hair was to lovely to ignore as it glistened in the sun. Violet is her middle name due to her unique and beautiful colored eyes. Fortunato and myself were captured by her beauty and perhaps in love. The friends, however, seemed to meddle their ways in between my dear friend and I. Fortunato was still my leading companion but had others to keep him happy as well. I did not know what to think of this at the time, then we advanced in school.

Question

Help Please! Will Medal.

I need to revise these paragraphs. Adding more descriptive language and sensory details. Then I need to revise the entire story if needed. Adding more words and sentences to reach 1000-1500. Can someone help?

Seven and a half pounds, twenty inches long; supposedly a normal human being. They named me Montressor after my great-grandfather, who was ironically malicious. My intelligence advanced as my body developed. The intelligence in my parents however seemed to decay. Desideria and Vittorio would sip away their problems, forgetting their young adolescent. I was forced to perform parental duties for myself at such a young age. As time passed, earning an education became my top priority or more like an escape. The school yard is where Fortunato, eight years old like myself but bold and strong, became my friend, best friend in fact. “Why are you by yourself?”, was the first thing he said. He was the first one to approach me, the first one I shared a chuckle with, my first friend.
     Throughout elementary school Fortunato did not leave my side. It was comforting knowing that I had someone there for me, for the first time. There was a common sport the children played at the schoolyard, which Fortunato took interest too. He gained more friends but my desire to make any was nonexistent. My desire was for Casandra, she was flawless. Her long, curly, chestnut hair was to lovely to ignore as it glistened in the sun. Violet is her middle name due to her unique and beautiful colored eyes. Fortunato and myself were captured by her beauty and perhaps in love. The friends, however, seemed to meddle their ways in between my dear friend and I. Fortunato was still my leading companion but had others to keep him happy as well. I did not know what to think of this at the time, then we advanced in school.

jimmykim · Answer

Just make the sentences more descriptive. Be carful with run ons.

sasabina123 · Answer

The intelligence in my parents however seemed to decay. (Here add a comma after however so the reader pauses. This makes it seem a bit more dramatic.)

The school yard is where Fortunato, eight years old like myself but bold and strong, became my friend, best friend in fact. (This sentence is a little bit confusing, try to change it like this maybe "The school yard is where Fortunato, an eight year old like myself.  Yet he was bold and strong. He became my friend, best friend in fact.)

there for me, for the first time. (I don't think you need a comma here)

My desire for Casandra, she was flawless (Maybe rewrite to "My desire to get to know Casandra only grew, she was flawless)

The friends, however, seemed to meddle their ways in between my dear friend and I. (This sentence is a little confusing too, maybe change the wording a bit)

Some details you could add would be about the school yard to establish a setting the reader can picture and maybe details about what Montressor looks like. You could also talk about Casandras personality instead of just her looks.

Besides that great story! Hope this helps.