Question

HELP ASAP!! DUE IN 1 HOUR!!

What are the errors?

Answer 1

Bullying is everywhere. Several people have reported incidents of school violence across the nation. School boards are considering implementing a policy to prevent bullying and suggest what steps this policy should take to prevent bullying from occurring. The main thing that is always said is "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Bullying often includes teasing, talking about hurting someone, spreading rumors, leaving kids out on purpose, and attacking someone by hitting them or yelling at them. What is the exact definition of bullying you ask?

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involve a real or perceived power imbalance. The factor bullying can affect everyone! Kids who get bullied experience sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and depression. The main three that are influenced by this aggressive behavior is those who are the victims, the bully, and the witnesses that watch this type of harassment. Bullying causes many negative effects, it impacts greatly on mental health and self-esteem. They would most likely have sudden changes in sleep and eating patterns; lose interest of activities they use to enjoy also. They can be permanent and stick to the child throughout adult hood. They can even decrease in academic achievements and even in school participation. Victims would miss, skip, or even drop out of the school. Kids that are bullies also suffer in the long run. They can use alcohol and other drugs to sooth their pain during their teenage years or adulthood. Probably to be involved in fights and engage in sexual activities.

Bullies are influenced by nature affects, they aren't just naturally born bullies. They have probably been abused or seen their parents abuse each other. We need to put a stop to this unhealthy hostility! To stop this, we can speak up and tell them that this isn't right! It isn't justice. We can stop this if we make the effort too. If we don't act soon, these bad factors will increase! More suicidal cases will come in! More heartbreaks and mental illnesses will occur in each subject. The bullies, the victims, and the watchers.

Answer 2

@TheSmartOne

Answer 3

@zepdrix

Answer 4

@pooja195

Answer 5

You just want me to proofread this or...?

Answer 6

yes

Answer 7

First paragraph, last sentence:
"What is the exact definition of bullying you ask?"
Should have a comma after you:
"What is the exact definition of bullying, you ask?"

Answer 8

Second paragraph, first sentence:
"Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involve a real or perceived power imbalance."
Needs a hyphen between aged and children:
"Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involve a real or perceived power imbalance."

Answer 9

Second paragraph, second sentence:
"The factor bullying can affect everyone!"
Doesn't make sense with this wording, try something like this:
"Unfortunately, bullying can affect everyone!"

Answer 10

Second paragraph, sixth sentence:
"They would most likely have sudden changes in sleep and eating patterns; lose interest of activities they use to enjoy also."
Wording needs to be tweaked a little:
"They would most likely have sudden changes in sleep and eating patterns and loss of interest in activities that they used to enjoy."

Answer 11

Second paragraph, seventh sentence:
"They can be permanent and stick to the child throughout adult hood."
Adulthood is one word:
"They can be permanent and stick to the child throughout adulthood."

Answer 12

Second paragraph, eighth sentence:
"They can use alcohol and other drugs to sooth their pain during their teenage years or adulthood."
Tweak the wording, and soothe is misspelled:
"They are more likely to abuse alcohol and other drugs to soothe their pain during their teenage years or adulthood."

Answer 13

Second paragraph, final sentence:
"Probably to be involved in fights and engage in sexual activities."
Change the wording a bit:
"They are more likely to be involved in fights and engage in sexual activities."

Answer 14

Third paragraph, first sentence:
"Bullies are influenced by nature affects, they aren't just naturally born bullies."
Incorrect. Bullies are influenced by their environment and their childhood (I study Psychology).
Possible change:
"Bullies are influenced by past childhood events and their surrounding environment. They aren't just naturally born bullies!"

Answer 15

Third paragraph, fifth sentence:
"We can stop this if we make the effort too."
Wrong usage of "too," the correct word to use is "to."
Corrected:
"We can stop this if we make the effort to."

Answer 16

Third paragraph, last two sentences:
"More heartbreaks and mental illnesses will occur in each subject. The bullies, the victims, and the watchers."
Combine these two sentences to make it one compound sentence. It will make more sense this way:
"More heartbreaks and mental illnesses will occur in each subject, being the bullies, the victims, and the watchers."

Answer 17

Hopefully that all made sense and was helpful. Let me know if you need anything else.

Answer 18

Thank you!! @Irrati0nal

Answer 19

No problem. Glad to be helpful. :)